I am hot.
I am cold.
This is a blanket? This is not a blanket. Do not insult me.
Are you sleeping?
You are really sleeping.
I have pooped.
Change me.
Ha. I had not pooped.
I had not even peed.
Amuse me by trying to sleep again.
WHO SWITCHED OFF THE LIGHT?
I am feeling very sleepy.
My eyes… they are droopy.
I am almost asleep.
I am asleep.
No I am not.
Fool.
Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup. Google “newborn severe hiccups” if you truly love me. Hiccup.
I am hot.
Feed me.
Feed me now.
This is not a human nipple.
What is this? I hate this.
Give me boob now.
Very good.
Look at me.
Do not look at the iPad when you’re feeding me, stupid woman.
Look. At. Me.
I am full.
No I am not.
I am full.
No I am not.
I am full.
Really.
I am quite full.
Stop this. What nonsense.
Do you like this sweatshirt you are wearing?
Is this your favourite sweatshirt?
Oh this is the first one you bought after losing weight?
Really?
Vomit.
I enjoyed that. Go change.
Pull my finger.
POOP!
Look, we can all act as if this nappy change can wait till the next feeding.
Or you can be a responsible parent and change me now.
Guilt. You adults are so predictable.
Personal best there I think.
From a sheer quantity perspective.
Edge to nappy edge.
Is this cotton wool from Tesco? What kind of family is this?
I am hot.
Sing me a song.
Ugh. Hindi song please.
Hand me over to mummy.
MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY YAY YAY YAY.
Not that song.
Not that song.
Not that song.
Not that song.
That song.
I am cold.
I SLEPT OFF FOR TWO MINUTES AND YOU PLACED ME IN A COT? I HATE YOU I HATE YOU POOP VOMIT PEE POOP
Mmmmmmm… adult bed… love adult bed…
Smile. Smile. Smile. CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY.
Have you tried white noise?
According to Mumsnet white noise remind babies of the womb.
This is white noise?
Ha ha. Garbage.
Remove that obscene sound.
Mumsnet it seems. Charlatans.
Who will burp me? Your father? Burp me.
What time is it?
3:53 AM.
Think I am ready to sleep now.
Is one of my eyes smaller than the other. No? Google urgently.
CODE BROWN! CODE BROWN! CODE BROWN!
Change me.
Where is the fresh nappy?
Go on. I will give you a minute.
Muahahahahahahaha. No I won’t.
Urine trouble now. LOL. Please RT.
Place me in the cot while you clean the bed.
Play some white noise.
Dim the lights?
Naaaaice.
I will sleep now.
Love me.
I am cold.
If You’re Not Laughing You’re Not A Parent… Or You’re A New Parent And You’re Busy Crying. lighten Up you’ll Be Able To Laugh Soon Enough!
I read you for this. I hear you for this. I follow you for this. I Add-Friend you for this. I admire you for this. I like you for this, Sidin.
Athu Polichu…tto…
Identified with every word in this. Mother to a 7-month-old. The dreaded time is 5 AM, when he’s done with his sleep, bright eyed and wants to play. Delightful, delightful read. 😀
Simply Awesome!!!
Been there, done that!! Fantastic! hahaha
True. And it continues. For years.
nice one, " NOT that song " , awesome
Just soooo loved this
Hahha… Hilarious n so true!!
Lol!! I am a new parent, and my sides are hurting coz this is so funny and so very real! Awesome!
Bang On! You just put my last five months in writing.
Must read for all paediatricians! For parents, this is reality. Nicely written.
Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Dude…. "Tesco wool….what kind of family is this?" #RESPECT !
I especially love "Do not look at the iPad when you’re feeding me, stupid woman." and " I SLEPT OFF FOR TWO MINUTES AND YOU PLACED ME IN A COT? I HATE YOU " 🙂
I was just at the pediatrician where I saw many cute babies. All smiling and happy. (My own turns 18 tomorrow so mild amnesia has occurred). But now thanks to you I have regained my senses and know that they are little monsters that unleash at 3am. Phew. Close call.
Think of parents with multiples… !!!
Hilariousnessnessness.
Share-worthy. Sharing.
So true so ironical so funny typing this at 6 am having been awake since 3 so big fan 🙂
Ipad makes it bearable google scares the shit out of you!
so hilarious when its about other people’s babies… most of 2013 and now 2014 too is the same for me 🙁 Trying to be patient till they learn to sleep through the night!!! Which will be another year minimum (gulp!)
Perfect …. Exact same situation at our end too 🙂
Awesome read…my five month old monster does all of this to the tee
This is absolutely hilarious yet a fact to the core. Love the "poda" byline. 😛
Glad to have stumbled here.. 🙂
Hilarious!
Absolutely hilarious! So see it in front of my eyes! 😀
This is hilarious! Even when no parent, can imagine it totally! haha
A brilliant satire …sounds vry hillarous though….!
You may want to check this out
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=702081733156647&set=a.394960657202091.94583.394920543872769&type=1&stream_ref=10
Hi this is amazing. Being first time parent I enjoyed it more than anything
So true…hilarious
Get free five page personalized Website, <a href="http://domainandhostingexpert.com/">FREE WEBSITE</a>
Reminds me of Stewey from family guy…
As a first time father to a 3 week old…this is so true…
Your hilarious best since The Travails of Single South Indian Men. Not great to hear that since it was a good decade ago, no? Well, there have been several funny posts in between but nothing comes close to these two. Nothing!
Great!!!!!! – http://www.wordlypost.in
This is true 🙂
It gets better after 6 weeks as you will realize.
when is skeptical Patriot releasing……..i’m waiting…..but there is not even a preorder option for it….????/
Great article, it is nice to read your article..
Get your Summer Collections with over 50% discounts now!!! http://www.shopclues.com/index.php?
dispatch=products.search&companyid=69063&searchperformed=Y
very nice and helpful for fb photos visit http://www.apniwebtv.com and for for pdf books and digest search http://www.apniwebtv.com and watch online dramas and see beauty tips and mehndi design from here http://www.apniwebtv.com and speeches from http://www.apniwebtv.com and many others
this has gotten me through some rough nights. thank you for it.
i must say very nice blog…..
i really enjoyed a lot..
<a href="http://www.bibus.in">BIBUS</a>
I must say this is brilliant selection! but I must <a herf="http://www.stylehoops.com">add</a> one that I’ve heard a lot of buzz about, and having <a herf="http://www.stylehoops.com">looked</a> at the site myself must say its very impressive.
to anyone that enjoyed these blogs be sure to check it out.
<a herf="http://www.stylehoops.com">stylehoops</a>
thanks,
<a herf="http://www.stylehoops.com">sneha</a>
I must say this is brilliant selection! but I must <a herf="http://www.stylehoops.com">add</a> one that I’ve heard a lot of buzz about, and having <a herf="http://www.stylehoops.com">looked</a> at the site myself must say its very impressive.
to anyone that enjoyed these blogs be sure to check it out.
<a herf="http://www.stylehoops.com">stylehoops</a>
thanks,
<a herf="http://www.stylehoops.com">ruchi</a>
عمليات التخسيس
تدبيس المعدة
عملية منظار المعدة
عملية تحويل المعدة
تكميم المعدة
عملية ربط المعدة
عملية تصغير المعدة
بالون المعدة للتخسيس
جراحات السمنة
جراحة تكميم المعدة
شركة تخزين عفش بالرياض
شركة نقل عفش بالرياض
شركات نقل عفش بالرياض
تغليف الاثاث بالرياض
نقل عفش داخل الرياض
شركة رش مبيدات بالرياض
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالرياض
شركات مكافحة القوارض
شركة ابادة الحشرات بالرياض
مكافحة البق بالرياض
مكافحة حشرات الفراش بالرياض
شركات مكافحة النمل الابيض بالرياض
شركة كشف تسربات بالمدينة
شركة كشف تسربات بالدمام
شركة تخزين اثاث بجدة
شركة تنظيف فلل بالدمام
شركة تسليك مجاري بالدمام
شركات نقل عفش بالمدينة
شركة تسليك مجاري بالرياض
شركة كشف تسربات بجده
شركة كشف تسربات بالخرج
شركة تنظيف فلل بالدمام
شركات نقل عفش بالدمام
شركة تنظيف مجالس بالخرج
شركة تنظيف موكيت بالخرج
شركة تنظيف خزانات بالخرج
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالخرج
شركة رش مبيدات بالخرج
شركة عزل اسطح بالخرج
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالخبر
شركة عزل خزانات بالخبر
شركة تنظيف موكيت بالخبر
شركة تنظيف فلل بالخبر
شركة تنظيف بالخبر
شركة تسليك المجارى بالرياض
شركة تنظيف بيارات بالرياض
شركات كشف تسربات بالرياض
كشف تسربات المياه بدون تكسير
اصلاح تسربات المياه
شركة عزل خزانات بالرياض
شركة عزل اسطح بالرياض
شركة تنظيف خزانات بالرياض
عزل مائي
شركات العزل الحراري
شركة كشف تسربات بالرياض
جهاز كشف التسرب بالرياض
حل ارتفاع فاتورة المياه
كشف تسرب المياه الكترونيا
تخزين اثاث
شركة عزل أسطح
نقل اثاث
The mystery of Blogging and Saving Funds for Tomorrow : http://www.hackdeals.com/
thanks for this wonderful article.
For More technological article reading visit our blog
http://techblogger.in/2000-words-guide-seo-content-writing/
Just wait till he/she is a teenager………the tirade is the same and as loud.
Nice article, I love to read this types of articles. Thanks a lot to share with us…… Searching for Govt jobs. <a href="http://www.vn7.co/">Click Here for Latest Jobs, News and Earning Tips</a>.
Hilarious! And so very unfortunately true! I love this!
Hey there, I found your blog very informative and helpful. I’ve read almost all your blog posts and would really love to read more of it. I suggest you also syndicate your blog on popular sites like ManagementParadise.com where you will find millions of like minded people as a ready audience. Keep Blogging. Cheers!
Really Great Article. I read this full article.
बहुत ज्ञान वर्धक आपकी यह रचना है, मैं स्वास्थ्य से संबंधित कार्य करता हूं यदि आप देखना चाहे तो यहां पर click <a href="http://jkhealthworld.com/hindi/">Health knowledge in hindi </a>करें और इसे अधिक से अधिक लोग के पास share करें ताकि यह रचना अधिक से अधिक लोग पढ़ सकें और लाभ प्राप्त कर सके।
बहुत ज्ञान वर्धक आपकी यह रचना है, मैं स्वास्थ्य से संबंधित कार्य करता हूं यदि आप देखना चाहे तो यहां पर click <a href="http://jkhealthworld.com/hindi/">Health knowledge in hindi </a>करें और इसे अधिक से अधिक लोग के पास share करें ताकि यह रचना अधिक से अधिक लोग पढ़ सकें और लाभ प्राप्त कर सके।
Hilarious. This almost makes me not want to marry. Or have sex. Or marry. Or pro-create. Well done.
Lol!! Could relate to every word of it. Awesomely written and quite hillarious too.
I was laughing all along… 🙂
Nice!
How wonderfully put. Congratulations!
Firstly, belated congratulations!
And secondly, think of all those sleep-deprived-for-three-years-parents (like me) out there who badly need a dose of your brilliant humour to make it through the (long) nights.
Brilliant. Post. Havent cried this hard in ages…
Just too good…It made me laugh completely….i am cherished….thank u so much for the wonderful post….keep posting with lots more……..
join our site web live Xperts.. for advice in all aspect’s of life hurry up
join today (www.weblivexperts.com)
Wonderfully written! Kudos Sidin! 🙂
moments to cherish
http://www.hugehdigital.com
loved it.. this is awsome for more creative visit http://goo.gl/o314JX
nice 🙂
This reminds us of our innocent childhood!
Now You Can Upload Videos to Reformstv.com
ReformsTV.com is a Video Based Social Media Channel.
If you find any incident which is worth of showing it to the world, than dont delay…
You can Upload to ReformsTV.com on
Politics (self commentory or incidents from National to International),
Sports (Your College Games to Colony Games)
Entertainment (Your own Music Events, Short Films, Fun Incidents)
General (Anything which occurs under our Universe)
Except Nudity & Abuses, anything which is useful to world is eligible for publishing..
What are you waiting for..Shoot n Upload
http://www.ReformsTV.com
thankyou http://www.beylikduzubilgisayarhastanesi.com/
I smiled through out.. lovely !!
Thank you for this interesting article..
<a href"http://www.cpl2016prediction.com/">CPL 2016 Prediction</a>
<a href"http://www.cpl2016prediction.com/">CPL 2016 Who Will Win</a>
<a href"http://www.cpl2016prediction.com/">CPL Prediction</a>
<a href"http://www.cpl2016prediction.com/">CPL Live Score</a>
<a href"http://happywishes2016.in/">Wishes 2016</a>
loved it…
Hi this is amazing. Being first time parent I enjoyed it more than anything
nice 🙂
good 🙂
very good