Most influential aspect of yours

by sidin in

Sorry if my typing reads hoarse. But I've been ill all of Sunday, took Monday off and came in today over-helmed by a sense of duty and obligation. But I always have time for a little blog post.

So Saturday Pastrami, the missus and I spent a rather productive day consisting of bagels, foot massages and Dostana at that Cinemax in Bandra with the bargain Lazy boy seats. While we were biting into our bagels and sipping on our Doppio's pastrami suddenly sat up and ran to the counter to ask for the day's Bombay Times.

"You must read the horoscope in today's BT man. They are howlarious!" Pastrami panted as he flipped the pages.

Now I was prepared for the worst you see. With all these job cuts and banks in trouble and financial turmoil we all try to laugh as much as we can when Pastrami cracks jokes. Even the weird, banker-type jokes where the punch line involves phrases like: "And then he said why don't we just look at perpetuity after five years and finance the whole using convertible debt warranties! HA HA HA HA HA HA! Phew!" or "And then the prospective girl's parents asked him what desk he worked on and he said structured debt and they all got up and ran away...even the broker..."

Which is just sad.

But lo and behold. Pastrami was actually right. The horoscopes were hilarious and mostly completely pointless. I have intrepidly managed to track it down:

Gems include:

Leo: You may choose to get out into the world and to grasp all to learn, can become negative and selfish. The energy of the day will require you to be more outgoing. You are probably having the most influential aspect.

This was either written by a bad machine or dictated over the phone to someone who hates his job, sitting on Friday night writing the horoscope. Eitherways it is a masterpiece of... I don't know really.

Please click on the image to read it in full.

Also, when time permits, read this fascinating article in October's Smithsonian Magazine. Its free and available in full.

Maybe I should get my DNA checked as well. What if I was related to...shudder...Mark Knopfler?

Later crocodiles.