Shopping with the enemy…

by sidin in

Ganapati Bappa Moriya!!!

Everything and everybody in Mumbai has officially taken a backseat to the pot-bellied god of success and good beginnings. It is going to be my first Ganesh Chaturthi in Mumbai and this time it most definitely will be more than a convenient holiday to plan strategic leave-taking around. Pavilions housing idols and large loud speakers are erected several to every kilometre of road. And the city needs its fair share of good blessings, so play and pray on!!!

But I did work till lunch today and have spent the rest of the day doing nothing. And feeling great about it. There is Will and Grace on TV, Pineapple juice and ice in a glass and the weather is not too bad. One of those feel-good days when you finally feel like powering up Wordpad and thumping out a piece of one's mind. Oh and of course there is Liar Liar on TV in a while and Maura Tierney is cute, delectable, warm and fuzzy. Of course not all holidays are this laid back and fun you know. A few weekends ago I was in Chennai with a bosom buddy of mine and she insisted we go shopping for clothes. It had been many moons since I had wafted in the welcome heady aroma of Tiruppur-fresh tshirts and enticing rustle of large shopping bags. So I was looking forward to a couple of hours of lazing between the aisles at Westside. (Westside, I am proud to say, has the largest collection of clothing for the dimensionally challenged. Unlike other stores they do not hideaway their double-x sizes in a corner. They cater to their well-fed customers and are proud of it. Almost everything is available in large and airy sizes.) We had a movie at 4. So we had all the time to choose in peace.

So there was I, armed to the teeth with consumer credit in my wallet, when she uttered those dreadful words. "I need to buy a couple of tops for myself too...". My heart skipped a decent number of beats and my mouth fell wide open. Good God!!! What had I done? Going out with a woman and buying her stuff is the second most dangerous thing a guy can do, it closely follows going out with a woman and not buying her anything. My dreams of blissful moments in a trial room holding in my belly now lie shattered. But I nary not mention my displeasure and dread and off we embarked to Spencer's Plaza on a journey of discovery. Discovery of the perfect kurti top and full sleeve t-shirt that is.

10:45 am: Female friend declares to intention to buy women's clothing

10:52 am: Author's heart resumes beating and partial activity returns to both lobes of brain

11:20 am: Enter Spencer's Plaza

11:25 am: Decide to buy women's clothing first as we only have 4 hours left before the movie and she needs the time

11:30 am: Decide to visit Pantaloons first

11:32 am: Black t-shirt right length too tight

11:42 am: Maroon t-shirt right fit but too short

11: 43 am: Green t-shirt in right length and fit but not available in pink. Pink has been declared as favourite colour

11:45 am: Author suggests pink t-shirt that seems right in fit and legth. Severe feedback received on the unsuitability of colour of piping. Author requested to refrain from further comment or input

11:47 am: Wonderful yellow t-shirt. She loves it. Things looking good. She asks me if she looks fat in it. Author mentions slight tightness aournd the arms. 10 minutes of abuse evenly split between author and t-shirt. Mothers of both briefly referred to.

11:50 am: Pantaloon found to be severely short on choice, colours and sizes. Female anger let loose on security guard. Cashier however is politely spoken to as he is cute.

12:00 pm: Westside endowed with our attention and time. Initial reaction positive. The lighting highlights complexion well and air conditioning is just right. Saleswomen not hot. Things looking good.

12:05 pm: Kurti in orange has bad red embroidery

12:06 pm: Kurti in orange without embroidery is too plain. I suggest nice brown sleeveless shirt. Curtly reminded of previous request to "SHUT UP WHEN I AM DECIDING!!!"

12:07 pm: Kurti in orange with just the right embroidery. Hurrah. No wait. She already has similar top. Damn.

12:08 pm: Pink t-shirt is perfect but way too tight. Pink is a horrible colour. I agree. Maroon is actually the favourite colour. I am hungry. I agree to that too.

12:15 pm: NOONE WEARS T-SHIRTS ANYMORE. Absolutely I say. Button down shirts here we come.

12:16 pm: Asked to check if neck is too deep. I take my time to decide. Almost gets slapped. No guys around to notice. Phew

12:20 pm: Suggest lunch break. Heavy plastic hanger with metal clips misses right eyeball by inches. Sorry.

12:30 to 2:30 pm: Finally the perfect blue loose shirt with a spot-on neck and an immaculate print design on the front. She tries it on and I tell her she looks like Phoebe in one of the episodes in season 4. This time hanger does not miss. Ouch.

3:00 pm: Paid for the top and its in the bag. We proceed to the men's section.

3:05 pm: Two shirts, one t-shirt and a pair of jeans tried, packed and paid for. She complains of too much delay and possible missing of movie. I briefly mention the difficulty of shopping with one eye in bandage.

3:30 pm: Madagascar!!!

Man it was a wild shopping trip and Madagascar was an excellent movie. But I think I can do without another trip to Westside for sometime now. I really really like the ability to see and walk you see. So you guys take care till next time when I talk about eating out in Mumbai. Be good, take care, and, as is "en vogue" right now, Salaam Namaste...

P.S. Am going to buy a Wagon R soon. La di da!!!