You’ve to hit it inside???!!!!

by sidin in ,


Dammit. Dammit. England loses out again on penalties. I felt terrible, why can't those limeys win anything. Must be exponentially worse to be english. They have no footage of England winning anything in colour. Felt so low after the game. I didnt speak to anyone, kept seeing images of penalties being missed, Rooney's career going up in smoke etc. etc. Felt suicidial even. But there were eggs in the mess in the morning for breakfast and I am ok now.

Its almost an year to the day I was done with my week long appointment with a dentist. A nice guy in Abu Dhabi. Dad thought I should get all my cavities filled in before I joined IIMA. As soon as I was done with my first session I knew one thing for sure. Dentists are as faithful to the Hippocratic Oath as Keanu Reeves is to the acting profession. Especially the part:

"I will follow that system of regimen which, according to my ability and judgment, I consider for the benefit of my patients, and abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous."

Me: (Sudden outburst of noise due to pain, not unlike noises emanating from Business German classes, a little louder...)
Dentist: Sorry the drill hit your gum...
Me: Business German contd.
Dentist: I am not being too deletrious or mischievous I hope???

On my list of people who cause most pain Dentists are right up there. A shade below Human Resources. (Dear HR professionals, its not that I have stereotypes of you people and trash you all because of that. No, its because all of you suck.) In that one week of appointments I had everything in his office smaller than 4 feet long shoved in my mouth.

Me: Ith thath a mirror?
Dentist: Yeah I use it to aim the drill...
Me: (Business German)
Dentist: Its not a very good mirror...

Everyone knows xrays are bad for them. But no the dentist, he shoots them at my face. The one I went to had an instantaneous developement software thing. So he would fire at will till he got it right. By then end I felt like a microwave dinner. And then he used a lot of new fangled equipment. A mouth laser and a vibration something-de-somethingalyzer. The vibration thing was cool. He enters an electrode into your root and then passes a current that makes you shivver like a winter in Munnar in undies. Very disorienting.

"Have.... to.... remove.... cavity...."

But the worst part is just lying there in the chair. Unprotected. Terrified. As vulnerable and defenceless as a mallu in Pondicherry with a credit card. Every nerve ending in your body ends in your mouth for an hour. I guess part of the pain is psychological.

There are things which seem larger than life. Things that appear a lot more intense and magnified than they really are. Dental pain being one of them. Along with "Salary commensurate with Industry Standards", "Full and Final Settlement" and "Urban available single women". (I thought of a nice cute HR analogy here... but after a comment asking for some sympathy I think they are due some. Come on even they are normal people. They may not be too bright. They may not make it to Mensa as neither will a chicken sandwich. But they deserve a break.)

But for me the last straw was when this happened:

Doctor: So where is he going to study
Dad: The All India Institute of Management Ahmedabad... (My dad always says it like that... I'm not complaining, he pays the fees see...)
Doctor: What?
Dad: IIMA, he is going to do his MBA (with some pride...)
Doctor:... (thoughtful silence)...(still thinking)...(in the silence of the room we can hear every neuron firing)... Never heard of it but there is a good Dental College in Ahmedabad... you should go there if you have any further trouble...
Dad: Er... ok doctor.

When we left the office my dad was spewing many oaths. None of them Hippocratic.