Ain’t no mountain high…

by sidin in

At Church yesterday I was contemplating on prayer. My conscience told me I had not thanked the omnipotent one for all the great things he had done for me recently. So I decided to....

Dear Lord,

Lord let me thank you for your divine intervention in so many things. It is your generosity that makes all these wonderful people come to church. Especially that cute little thing there.

Lord thank you for making the world. And all the wonderful countries. Especially Lebanon. And for making all animals. Expecially chickens. Lord I thank you so much for plants and vegetables. Especially the chickpea. And of course thanks for teaching the Lebanese to grill the chicken and make chickpea dip. And for giving life to the guy who brewed malt, barley and hops for the first time, had a swig and thought "Thith HIC! stuff ith HIC! prethee gooth..."

Lord thank you for happy hours, bottomless mugs and snacks on the house. I see no reason why those things should exist. Only divine intervention could let it happen. However instead of just mentioning it, you could have passed on that "water into wine" trick though.

Lord thanks for keeping all my best friends single. Not that I would be jealous if many of them were paired up. No. Its the unholy thoughts I am worried of. Lord you keep my mind pure. I thank you for that. Lord I also think one of my friends maybe on the threshold of a relationship. Please maintain my pure thoughts by putting an end to that.

Lord thank you for arranged marriages where parents refuse to listen to their children. Personally I really dont see the other person agreeing of their own accord. Lord thanks for possible in-laws who want an MBA son-in-law for their cute daughter. And see the excess weight only as the indication of an affluent family and a well-fed childhood.

Lord I thank you so much for giving mankind add-on credit cards. And for making credit statements appear only in abbreviated form. So that Dad sees "Balaji Retail" when he could so easily be reading "Balaji Wine Shop and Bar". I also thank you Lord for Pramod Chamarthy. He never touched a drop through four years of college. Thank you for making him good at changing other people's clothes, making him strong enough to drag us home and giving hom strong deo.

Lord thank you for my summer internship. And thanks for making it in Bombay. But most of all thanks for giving me accomodation in Wilson College. You could have so easily put me in a/c company acco or star hotels. But you knew that not every man can escape being a POW and you made sure I was ready.

Lord I am so grateful for drawstring pants and trousers with elastic. Now I can sit down without turing blue or making myself impotent. Lord also thank you for making mallus, giving them cloth and no buttons, zippers or pins. You forced them to make the lungi. Lord thank you for the ventilation and freedom of movement.

Lord thank you for helping me clear CAT. You kept me awake endless nights. Made me work without rest. Till I found success. Lord also thank you so much more for having revealed the CAT leak scam only this year.

And finally Lord thanks for the single source of joy and bliss I can always depend on. In the hottest of summers and the coldest of winters it is always with me, on me. Lord thank you for Itchguard.

I sleep now with a clear conscience.