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    The Diligent Malayali

    401px kathakali kerala india The Diligent Malayali

    Generic mallu man

    People often make fun of malayalis especially by sending that ridiculous email forward about how we do no work because we spend all day tying and untying our lungis. In fact many of us upright, honourable sons of Kerala soil (Malayalam: sow-yell) intend to fight this stereotype by going on a nationwide hartal sometime soon after this tea break.

    Therefore I was most happy to read a recent piece of news on the Indo Asian News Service that will finally put to rest the myth of the lazy malayali. This is the headline:

    Youth held with 31 fake passports in Kerala

    Do you even need to read the rest of the news piece to bask in the karmic glory of this man’s effort and commitment to duty? Yes? Ok:

    Kozhikode: A youth was arrested with 31 fake passports at Kozhikode International Airport in Kerala on Sunday.

    Customs officials also recovered 15 international driving permits and 12 blank passport pages from the arrested youth identified as Nissar Panalam, 26, of Kasargod district in the state.

    “Nissar was to leave by an Air Arabia flight to Sharjah. The search was conducted by the Air Customs Intelligence unit following a tip off. The seized items were found concealed in his luggage,” a customs official at the airport said.

    Nissar will be handed over to the police for further investigation, the official said.

    Source: Indo-Asian News Service

    Nissar’s achievement is nothing short of being the Tata Nano of document fraud for it’s sheer invention. To put it in another way: NISSAR HAS ONE PASSPORT FOR EVERY FLAVOUR OF BASKIN ROBBINS ICE CREAM!

    (My own sources indicate that the 31 passports included 11 Bijus, 7 Johnnys, 8 Babys, 4 Chackochans and one compulsary Blossom Babykutty. My sources refused to be named.)

    And not content to just ship his clients to diverse foreign countries like the UAE, Saudi Arabia and Qatar, Nissar has also ensured that they get the opportunity to drive home to the labour camp right from the airport only stopping to buy full bottle VAT 69 on the way.

    We are proud of Nissar Panalam and have decided to immediately bestow upon him the Kerala NRI Tilakam award brought to you by Atlas Jewellery.

    Tomorrow will be holiday.

    Pic. courtesy: Wikipedia A few hours after I posted this I got an email from Jogesh S, the photographer of the wonderful image above who said that I had given the wrong credits. So all thanks to Jogesh’s work and do check out this and several other fantastic photos from his collection here: http://flickr.com/photos/75621441@N00/495874906.





    • http://www.staneymv.com staneymv

      Better yet, tomorrow will be hartal :)

    • http://justkeepsakes.blogspot.com Arpz

      :D

    • http://blog.nikhil.co.in Nikhil Narayanan

      Nissar ushers in the era of the enterprising Malayalee. :) He is a role model. Hope he soon creates an association that grows into multiple associations and factions brought together by a federation. FOEMOK Federation of Enterprising Malayalees of Kerala

      Even if he was from UP, Malayala Manorama would have found the Mallu connection that his great great grandfather had ;) Even Priyanka Chopra was 12.25% Mallu as per the paper!

    • http://sangeethakodithala.blogspot.com Sangeetha

      Hey I know your sources – aren’t they Biju, Johnny, Baby, Chackochan and Blossom Babykutty? I know I am brilliant.. been reading your blog for so long.. so had to be! :D

    • http://poomanam.blogspot.com/ silverine

      LOL!!

    • http://www.desipundit.com/2008/07/10/the-diligent-malayali/ The Diligent Malayali | DesiPundit

      [...] with the misconceptions surrounding Malayalis (and their lungi-tying activities), Sidin points out an exemplary fellow-Mallu that he is proud of. People often make fun of malayalis especially by sending that ridiculous email forward about how [...]

    • http://phlipside.blogspot.com Philip

      I’m sure the person who tipped off the Customs officials was one of our sworn enemies from across the border…most probably a Tamilian. But I’m not sure about the nature of the tip-off, though – something tells me they were searching for 31 bottles of Chivas Regal.

    • http://www.richdadblog.com Shinil

      That’s an interesting piece of news. 31 passports? I know how much running I had to do just get my “one and only” passport.

      Shinil.

    • http://www.alaivani.com Jennifer

      In our last trip to Kerala, I commented that the number of people standing in protests (photo http://flickr.com/photos/kris_kumar/2619484827/in/set-72157605874860987/) could populate a small country. All this misdirected enthu, including the 31 fake passports could be channelled into so many other improvements to society.

    • http://wrecktangle.blogspot.com Kraz Arkin

      What! No Shibu, or Lijo or Shaju? No wonder he got caught.

    • http://www.oxygenflow.net Spikedelik

      If only Suresh Gopi was there at the airport… he must have rattled the Custom Guys into letting fake man go … with Mallu statements, I can’t utter! But yeah I do know that all such outbursts average 14 Bleddies and 28 ‘Byull Schitz! :P

    • http://bangaloreblues.wordpress.com Vijay

      Great post… my opinions have already changed

      Since he is from Kasargod.. can we from Karnataka take partial credit?…. seeing as how the area is disputed and all :-)

    • Beena

      That was neat, Sidin! Especially when one is “working” away on a Friday evening at 7.00 pm! What took you so long? Your last post was aeons ago!

    • Arun Kumar

      Great post…as usual….
      when is the book coming out? and while on the topic-have you read A brief history of the millenium (until now) by dave barry (I’m sure you have)…its hillarious-and very reminiscent of your style of writing (though yours is more refined-and I mean that as a compliment).

    • http://negativeslens.blogspot.com Kogi Kaishakunin
    • http://ychittaranjan.wordpress.com YCR

      Damn! And here I was thinking I can emigrate to Sharjah via Thiru-whatever-puram :( :(

      Now have to get hold of a ‘diligent consultancy’…

    • http://ambitextrous.blogspot.com RukmaniRam

      why an “NRI” Tilakam? Did I miss something?

    • http://www.sampathmenon.com/blog Yet another Kutty

      With sreesanth lying low, i thought it was now safe to wear my ‘malayali’ tag back on with pride. But not so fast, eh. BTW, The post was indeed lungi-stripping funny, Sidin!

    • http://www.decisioncare.org raj

      31 passports require a lot of decision making and good luck. Not easy to achieve.
      http://www.decisioncare.org

    • Mallu – United ( no relation whatsover to soccer)

      Now the all too familiar industriousness of the Mallu is evident in all its glory, thanks to Nissar, :-) others seem to like to cast aspersions on our ilk with below the belt joked. tsch tsch…

    • http://meherblogs.blogspot.com/ Sindhu :)

      haha! Some sense of humor you have!! :D

      That was good!

    • Mallu – United ( no relation whatsover to soccer)

      thanks…being a Mallu had to ensure that my voice is heard :-)

    • Shilpa

      You really should write more often. Haven’t read anything by you even on rediff!

    • http://justkeepsakes.blogspot.com Arpz

      you are tagged dear diligent malyali chetta :D

    • http://routinated.blogspot.com Ranjith Kollannur

      Finally, an example of Mallu efficiency. And I am pretty sure who tipped off the cops. Nissar must have talked too much in a tea stall near the airport, seeing how Mallus r addicted tea drinkers :) .

    • http://sunraysblogs.blogspot.com/ Sun Rays

      Who so ever suspects mallus to be lazy has just to visit the local Kallu shop to witness first hand the dilengence of our fellow bretherns ….. they never tire.

      Real Funny post Comrade !!! I second that call for Hartal !!

      Chalo Cheers and Take Care!!

    • http://sharvarionline.com MADHAVI

      Mygoosness| I can’t beleive it that someone can issue 31 passport. How can he mantain them? Hilarious news| that’s great.

    • Boopathy

      Hi Sidin, enjoyed the material thoroughly

    • http://randamthots.blogspot.com Amey

      Err… How do we know he didn’t need the 31 passports just to fit his name? Those “name” lines are not exactly created to fit mallu names, right? ;)

    • sidindoesntbloganymore

      dude-have you abandoned this blog? I guess its the price your fans pay for your getting famous….one rocking post…please!!!

    • http://www.poojakrishna.com/ Pooja

      31 passports, wonly? Ah-man, this is indeed god’s own country.

    • http://arunima.blogspot.com/ arunima

      i envy this man. wow!

      :-)

    • http://saraththeone.blogspot.com sarath

      as a fellow malayali, I too feel proud of such an achievement. Thank you for bringing it to our notice.

      sarath

    • http://www.zoyidian.com Abid

      This is a really funny post.. hahaha cant stop laughing… That guy is surely an achiever.. ;)

    • http://jivemathew.blogspot.com Rajiv Mathew

      This blog rocks man. Its a good read!

    • http://www.club-penguin.org/ Club Penguin Cheats

      I am pretty sure who tipped off the cops. Nissar must have talked too much in a tea stall near the airport, seeing how Mallus r addicted tea drinkers.

    • http://dizzywoodvirtualpets.tripod.com/blog/ virtualpets

      I haven't heard any of this Malayali mockery, but nonetheless I'm glad you're sticking up for your people.

    • http://luxurycarseats.com/category/mercedes-benz/ mercedes car seats

      as a fellow malayali, I too feel proud of such an achievement. Thank you for bringing it to our notice.

      sarath

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    • anand

      anna, namichu.

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