The Diligent Malayali
Generic mallu man
People often make fun of malayalis especially by sending that ridiculous email forward about how we do no work because we spend all day tying and untying our lungis. In fact many of us upright, honourable sons of Kerala soil (Malayalam: sow-yell) intend to fight this stereotype by going on a nationwide hartal sometime soon after this tea break.
Therefore I was most happy to read a recent piece of news on the Indo Asian News Service that will finally put to rest the myth of the lazy malayali. This is the headline:
Youth held with 31 fake passports in Kerala
Do you even need to read the rest of the news piece to bask in the karmic glory of this man’s effort and commitment to duty? Yes? Ok:
Kozhikode: A youth was arrested with 31 fake passports at Kozhikode International Airport in Kerala on Sunday.
“Nissar was to leave by an Air Arabia flight to Sharjah. The search was conducted by the Air Customs Intelligence unit following a tip off. The seized items were found concealed in his luggage,” a customs official at the airport said.
Nissar will be handed over to the police for further investigation, the official said.
Source: Indo-Asian News Service
Nissar’s achievement is nothing short of being the Tata Nano of document fraud for it’s sheer invention. To put it in another way: NISSAR HAS ONE PASSPORT FOR EVERY FLAVOUR OF BASKIN ROBBINS ICE CREAM!
(My own sources indicate that the 31 passports included 11 Bijus, 7 Johnnys, 8 Babys, 4 Chackochans and one compulsary Blossom Babykutty. My sources refused to be named.)
And not content to just ship his clients to diverse foreign countries like the UAE, Saudi Arabia and Qatar, Nissar has also ensured that they get the opportunity to drive home to the labour camp right from the airport only stopping to buy full bottle VAT 69 on the way.
We are proud of Nissar Panalam and have decided to immediately bestow upon him the Kerala NRI Tilakam award brought to you by Atlas Jewellery.
Tomorrow will be holiday.
Pic. courtesy: Wikipedia A few hours after I posted this I got an email from Jogesh S, the photographer of the wonderful image above who said that I had given the wrong credits. So all thanks to Jogesh’s work and do check out this and several other fantastic photos from his collection here: http://flickr.com/photos/75621441@N00/495874906.
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Better yet, tomorrow will be hartal
Nissar ushers in the era of the enterprising Malayalee.
He is a role model. Hope he soon creates an association that grows into multiple associations and factions brought together by a federation. FOEMOK Federation of Enterprising Malayalees of Kerala
Even if he was from UP, Malayala Manorama would have found the Mallu connection that his great great grandfather had
Even Priyanka Chopra was 12.25% Mallu as per the paper!
Hey I know your sources – aren’t they Biju, Johnny, Baby, Chackochan and Blossom Babykutty? I know I am brilliant.. been reading your blog for so long.. so had to be!
LOL!!
[...] with the misconceptions surrounding Malayalis (and their lungi-tying activities), Sidin points out an exemplary fellow-Mallu that he is proud of. People often make fun of malayalis especially by sending that ridiculous email forward about how [...]
I’m sure the person who tipped off the Customs officials was one of our sworn enemies from across the border…most probably a Tamilian. But I’m not sure about the nature of the tip-off, though – something tells me they were searching for 31 bottles of Chivas Regal.
That’s an interesting piece of news. 31 passports? I know how much running I had to do just get my “one and only” passport.
Shinil.
In our last trip to Kerala, I commented that the number of people standing in protests (photo http://flickr.com/photos/kris_kumar/2619484827/in/set-72157605874860987/) could populate a small country. All this misdirected enthu, including the 31 fake passports could be channelled into so many other improvements to society.
What! No Shibu, or Lijo or Shaju? No wonder he got caught.
If only Suresh Gopi was there at the airport… he must have rattled the Custom Guys into letting fake man go … with Mallu statements, I can’t utter! But yeah I do know that all such outbursts average 14 Bleddies and 28 ‘Byull Schitz!
Great post… my opinions have already changed
Since he is from Kasargod.. can we from Karnataka take partial credit?…. seeing as how the area is disputed and all
That was neat, Sidin! Especially when one is “working” away on a Friday evening at 7.00 pm! What took you so long? Your last post was aeons ago!
Great post…as usual….
when is the book coming out? and while on the topic-have you read A brief history of the millenium (until now) by dave barry (I’m sure you have)…its hillarious-and very reminiscent of your style of writing (though yours is more refined-and I mean that as a compliment).
Hilarious post indeed. But I think Gopalan Pallichadath Nair takes the cake for being the most diligent
http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest%2BNews/Courts%2Band%2BCrime/STIStory_254870.html
http://singaporedissident.blogspot.com/2008/07/announcement-july-8th-2008-singapore.html
Damn! And here I was thinking I can emigrate to Sharjah via Thiru-whatever-puram
Now have to get hold of a ‘diligent consultancy’…
why an “NRI” Tilakam? Did I miss something?
With sreesanth lying low, i thought it was now safe to wear my ‘malayali’ tag back on with pride. But not so fast, eh. BTW, The post was indeed lungi-stripping funny, Sidin!
31 passports require a lot of decision making and good luck. Not easy to achieve.
http://www.decisioncare.org
Now the all too familiar industriousness of the Mallu is evident in all its glory, thanks to Nissar,
others seem to like to cast aspersions on our ilk with below the belt joked. tsch tsch…
haha! Some sense of humor you have!!
That was good!
thanks…being a Mallu had to ensure that my voice is heard
You really should write more often. Haven’t read anything by you even on rediff!
you are tagged dear diligent malyali chetta
Finally, an example of Mallu efficiency. And I am pretty sure who tipped off the cops. Nissar must have talked too much in a tea stall near the airport, seeing how Mallus r addicted tea drinkers
.
Who so ever suspects mallus to be lazy has just to visit the local Kallu shop to witness first hand the dilengence of our fellow bretherns ….. they never tire.
Real Funny post Comrade !!! I second that call for Hartal !!
Chalo Cheers and Take Care!!
Mygoosness| I can’t beleive it that someone can issue 31 passport. How can he mantain them? Hilarious news| that’s great.
Hi Sidin, enjoyed the material thoroughly
Err… How do we know he didn’t need the 31 passports just to fit his name? Those “name” lines are not exactly created to fit mallu names, right?
dude-have you abandoned this blog? I guess its the price your fans pay for your getting famous….one rocking post…please!!!
31 passports, wonly? Ah-man, this is indeed god’s own country.
i envy this man. wow!
as a fellow malayali, I too feel proud of such an achievement. Thank you for bringing it to our notice.
sarath
This is a really funny post.. hahaha cant stop laughing… That guy is surely an achiever..
This blog rocks man. Its a good read!
I am pretty sure who tipped off the cops. Nissar must have talked too much in a tea stall near the airport, seeing how Mallus r addicted tea drinkers.
I haven't heard any of this Malayali mockery, but nonetheless I'm glad you're sticking up for your people.
as a fellow malayali, I too feel proud of such an achievement. Thank you for bringing it to our notice.
sarath
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