Domain Maximus

I am not one of those MCP type guys who look down upon women. In fact I am highly appreciative of the fairer sex and believe they should be treated as equals.

This is despite the fact that they can get extremely annoying while you are watching your fave sci-fi cult movie by asking the most insane questions and refusing to buy your perfectly articulate explanations:

W: So who is that person?

S: That is the Oracle.

W: Oh my! They still need a Relational Database Management System in the future. Hmm…

S: Haha. The humour. Biting…

W: <Smug>

S: No she is is actually this computer program… in the Matrix… that you know can see the future and all… She helps Neo on his mission.

W: If she can see the future then what is the point yaar…

S: No I mean she can’t see EVERYTHING obviously. Just some things. And its not like everything she says comes true or anything. Neo can change the future if he wants to…

W: I dont see what is the big deal really. Clearly she is a sapient program that is more deterministic in her approach to foresee the future than actually dictate further action and events. Sort of a soft, tolerant rogue program that slightly accomodates errant sub-programs within the larger program architecture…

S: (Quietly contemplating on his decision to discuss the nuances of the Matrix with someone who has a degree in Information Technology.)

W: Let’s watch Lage Raho

S: Ok!

But apart from slight foibles like that women are cool.

But try telling Dick Masterson that. Dick has this bizarre blog called “Men are Better than Women” that, on further reading I discovered to my surprise, is all about one gender being better than the other. (Disclaimer: Not always pleasant or warm reading. But all text and safe for office perusal.)

As for me I think I am happy with the world the way it is. For considering that most men act like this, we don’t want to piss women off altogether.

God knows, they may all end up being able to do this one day.

Off course that does means more time with the Playstation on the weekends.

(General Marriage Sustaining Disclaimer: The W in the above exchange stands for “Woman besides wife” and that S stands for “Some guy but not Sidin”.)

Is the day when we get a cappuccino or a decaf latte direct from udder too far away?

Coming to think of it with Global Warming on the up all we really need is to get the coffee in there somehow.

It can happen right?

One day your Gameboy is running like a dream and you’re plugging away at that copy of Max Payne or Legend of Zelda or, who are we kidding, Playboy Mansion: Booty Bonanza when suddenly it happens.

Our clumsy, stupid little portable gaming console trips over the pet dog and goes crashing down the staircase. And before you can scream “Oh my god what has happened to my fave mode of handheld pleasure!” your console has a concussion and torn muscles and busted joints.

Have no fear for right here in Wadala East, in the Dosti complex, we have a store that can easily solve those problems. This is a notice outside the shop I snapped earlier this week:

Seriously. Is there ANYTHING retailers don’t think of nowadays?

Voila! Finally we are up and running!

And, deyvame!, was it a challenge.

I am what you would call a man of detail. I like to do my research and all my homework before I set out to do something. So merely moments after I decided that blogger was passe and a domain of my own was the way to go I was on the interweb looking out for the perfect combination of looks, usability and economy for my new blogging system.

Soon I had a decent idea of what I was looking for. A vast Google search for “high quality back-end” yielded many many interesting results that took me the better part of a week to get through. (I could have done this faster but I work to a strict schedule everyday after my wife has gone to sleep.)

Every search result I read carefully. I downloaded pictures and videos and even took printouts of several outstanding back-ends.

Finally I had zeroed in on WordPress, got the domain nicely paid for and sat down to the business of designing a template. For another week I struggled with PHP, HTML, CSS, XHTML, AJAX, DTDC, BEST and, god knows, ABVP before I had a wonderful little template that oozed class and refinement.

I showed it to the missus.

Missus: “You did this?”
SSV: “Yup. Nifty yes?”
Missus: “Hmm… is that a yellow tractor running up and down the footer area?”
SSV: “Of course not! How classless do you think I am? That is a Combined Harvester dear…”
Missus: “Why would you this to the world?”
SSV:
Missus: <Shift-delete>
SSV:

Soon she made me this warm and friendly little thing you see here. It is everything I wanted. Clean, neat, not too bright, pleasant coloured, much more loaded with widgets and technology than immediately appears and, most importantly, light on the net and unimposing on the actual content in the middle.

Me likes very very much. It is a brilliant template. And I am not saying this because she is standing right behind me with a coffee table book on “Happy Married Life” held menacingly.

You will, obviously, see incremental little changes on the template as time passes. Mostly in colour and some layouts and things.

But the real change will be, hopefully, in my posting frequency. Honestly I don’t write half the time half as much as I should like and I like less than half my posts half as much as I should like to.

So this time I will try to change things around here a little bit. I will try to post a little something everyday. Maybe not a full blogpost. But snippets of news, links, pictures and other such esoterica.

Original or not, I am sure everything will amuse you, my dear reader.

Of course it is not all altruistic. I am looking to use the blog as a proper vehicle for my writing and consulting work. Therefore you will find links above to pages that showcase my non-blog writing and my contact details as well.

So there. Nothing as refreshing as a fresh new beginning eh? Hope you enjoy things here as much as you did back at Domain Maximus 1.0. Who knows? Things could get even better here.

So full steam and onward ho!

p.s. The guy in the banner is Parthsarathy Kalasalingus.

p.s.s. ‘Whatay’ is a word with much meaning and significance.

p.s.s.s. More on both in time.

Howdy people!

While I am back in Mumbai after a brief London trip, and preparing notes on the trip as we speak, I also want to quickly drop in a post about two little startups that might interest you.

The first is a wonderful little coffeeshop/gaming joint type thingie that two dear friends have launched in Bangalore. Brewhaha has opened to rave reviews (google it) and Mansur and Frodo have done a cracking good job of it I hear.

They have a little website shaping up here.

Incidentally there is a little bit of a story behind the name Brewhaha. Frodo and I were both co-summer-interns at a company here in Mumbai all those years ago. In 2004 I think…

This was just after I had written that South Indian Men post. We were cabbing down Marine Drive one afternoon when Frodo and I got talking about alternate careers that we might be good at. Advertising and branding seemed interesting options and we started making names for imaginary things.

(At the time we had no great hopes of converting our internships into jobs. I really didn’t see myself making a career selling Hernia meshes.

No, don’t ask.)

Brewhaha was something I came up with for a stand-up comedy and beer place. Sitting in that cab.

We promptly forgot all about it and life took us separate ways.

And then years later they quit their jobs and decide to open a cafe. The rest is recent history.

So drop in at their place at Koramangala and say hi for me will you? I am sure they will drop in a little extra whipped cream in your affogato. Or something. And yes spend lots of money please.

The second website is an interesting customized T-shirt design company that does it all online. Click here for Dilsebol. Ravi Kumar will be glad for you to give it a shot and give him feedback as well.

Hmm. That is two good deeds in one day.

As for me I think I will crawl back into my cave and go back to my writing and things. It has been a pretty hectic few weeks and I am thoroughly exhausted.

See you guys over the weekend.

Ciao.

p.s. Both of the above didn’t pay me to do this. I don’t normally do this. And yes they are all IIMA alum. But please don’t hate them for that. Now I will get back to wolfing down these wonderful cakes. After all I don’t care if I gain weight. I have hundreds of tshirts in all sizes.

p.s.s. Yes I can do branding as well.