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  • [Previously published @ sidin.blogspot.com]
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    The gasket and the hole in the ground - Part 2

    Aurangabad, incidentally, is known as “The Optic Fiber Capital of India”. However when we asked one of the locals why it was so i.e. “Aurangabad ko ‘The Optic Fiber Capital of India’ kyon bolti hain?” he told us, in a somewhat complicated marathi accent, that the omelette walah did not come till 6 am. We nodded and left. Later we entered the Aurangabad bus stand and, in the bus stand restaurant, resolved to order breakfast. The waiter gave us a menu and we started ordering. At the mention of each item he nodded his head. No. Not available. Poha? No. Bonda? No. Bhajiya? No. Misal Pav? No. So what do you have? Nothing. Only tea. Kitchen is closed. Thank you.

    We boarded a bus for Lonar a little past 6 am and were surprised at how comfortable the bus was. The seats were well padded and the ride was very comfortable. However we were still hungry, had no food and I noted that only one of the tour party seemed to be sleeping contentedly. And then I noted that the India Today Food Special I had brought along was missing. Hmm.

    As the trip progressed we noticed something peculiar about the dietary habits of the locals. Apparently the staple diet of the locals in central Maharashtra is alu bondas and various bhajiyas. And they serve this from dawn to dusk. Now I do not mean to not appreciate this diet, I am sure there are traditional reasons why this diet is preferred, but to the outsider it was a little hard to digest. Every stopover we were served nothing but tea and deep fried vegetables. It was so bad we could have easily played that schooltime game with the locals:

    What’s for breakfast?

    Bonda Bhajiya

    Whats for lunch?

    Bonda Bhajiya

    Whats for dinner?

    Bonda Bhajiya

    What is your name?

    Bonda Bhajiya

    Ha! Got you!

    An other alarming trend was the complete inability to use Hindi as a medium of communication as we went more and more into the rugged heartland. After a point even the marathi became very difficult to understand. However after much shaking and rattling and bonda eating we reached the village of Lonar in Buldhana district. We had reached our destination. Well almost.

    I walked over to the nearest shop and asked the old man for our final target. “Bhai saab yeh hypervelocity basaltic meteoric crater aapko pata hai?” He blinked. I then spread out the palm of one hand and made a ball of the other and, drawing a graceful trajectory, slammed one into the other. He smiled and nodded, went into his shop, and handed me a nice little plate of Bondas and Bhajiyas.

    But soon we saw a sign board for the MTDC hotel, where we were to stay, and began to walk. We had carried with us a Lonely Planet guide and it gave us some idea of what we were about to face. A brisk walk to the crater it said. We began to briskly walk and after some distance we saw another sign board which told us to take a right from the main road and walk for another two kilometers. So it was no surprise that as we walked we all concluded it would have been much simpler if the meteorite had landed near a major railway station or airport or in South Bombay and would have been much easier to explore. But try telling the MTDC that.

    Anyways we reached in due course and checked into the hotel. Right across the road, was quite literally, the biggest hole in the ground I have ever seen. It was some 150 meters in depth and almost two kilometers across. One moment you are walking by the road tanning slowly into an apricot and then the next moment you are standing looking over one of the biggest craters in the world. Breathtaking indeed. We rejoiced and decided to do our first trek a little after lunch when the sun went down.

    There was no power in the hotel. This was a minor issue however and we bathed and freshened up and dropped into the MTDC restaurant which, the board outside proclaimed, was open from 6 AM to 11 PM. And right now, at noon, it undoubtedly was. However we once again must doff our hats at the MTDC and its commitment to the exact meaning of every word it uses. In this case, ‘open’. Open, most popular linguists agree, does not mean ‘you can eat here’. Merely that the doors are open and you may enter. We entered the restaurant and asked the waiter “Boss khan ke liya kya hai?”. He thought for a moment nodded “Ok” and left. Never to be seen again.

    We were facing that marathi problem again. We finally located a more helpful fellow who told us that the restaurant was closed and lunch would be served at 2:00 PM. Not a morsel before. Finally we had lunch and walked out across the road to descend into the crater. It was a most arduous journey and sapped most of our energy but by the time we reached the edge of the crater the sun had mellowed somewhat.

    Finally we gathered enough courage to descend. The crater, incidentally, has twelve ancient temples inside and our guide books told us it was almost entirely untouched by the modern human hand inside. A most surreal experience it was sure to be. We trekked to the bottom through perilous slopes and over craggy merciless rocks and finally made it. The lake at the bottom is super alkaline and has a pH of 10.5 or so. Or, as they call it in Chennai, tap water. No sign of any other human beings yet. We decided to trek around the shallow lake at the bottom.

    A few temples later we came across a bunch of cavorting couples. And to be honest a lot of modern human hand was touching a lot of other modern human things if you know what I mean. But onward we continued letting the couples be and merely taking a few photos for our reference. That is when we bumped into a large metal object that seemed to be making rhythmic thud noises.

    A diesel generator? At the bottom of a crater! This was quite unsettling, and smacked of human presence. We happened upon a nice little agricultural setup right in the middle of the crater where they seemed to growing spinach. We sat and watched them at work for sometime and, after the initial shock had passed, sat down to enjoy the rustic pleasure of it all. But this was short-lived as one of the farmers received a phone call to the tune of something by Himesh Reshamiyya and we quickly left.

    It was beginning to darken now and the sun was slowly turning in for the day. We quickly located our way back and followed the exact way up the crater as we had come down. We emerged at the top some 4 kilometers away from the hotel. Most of us were gasping for breath from the ascent and walked quite slowly. The locals seemed to think we were foreigners and a particular gentleman walked with us. He was an incessant conversationalist.

    Man: Hello?

    Us: Hello!

    Man: Hello!

    Us: Hello?

    Man: Ah! Hello!

    Us: Ahem… Hello!

    After a couple of kilometers, like long-term love affairs that are forced to turn to issues of Cosmo and Playstation, we ran out of things to talk about and the man let us be. We returned to the hotel and decided on our next plan of action. Buy beer.

    We bought much beer and the night was full of fun and frolic and we decided that we would wake up early next day morning, say around six, to do a complete trek of the bottom and all the temples. Then we would catch the bus to Aurangabad at around 11:45 AM. We decided to skip the delicacies of the MTDC restaurant and procured dinner from one of Lonar’s best eateries. We were hungry and ate in a hurry and the Dal Tadka left us in a much greater hurry the next day morning.

    Back in Aurangabad our plan then was to make a quick visit to the caves at Ellora. But before that lunch beckoned. After two days of eating railway food and deepfry we used the excellent selection of the Lonely Planet guide to Aurangabad. Lunch was a success in so much that we must have wiped out prawn from most of the western Indian seaboard. Suddenly Ellora seemed to far away and we had to settle for the humbler Aurangabad Caves. Built apparently by the same dudes who built the ones at Ellora and some of the ones at Ajanta, these caves are smaller and only number some ten caves. But they offer a great view of Aurangabad city which, because we had climbed up 2.3 million stone stairs to reach to the top and were hyper ventilating, pupil dilating and so on looked magnificent in several shades of colour.

    We finally reached the station in time and we quickly dispersed, each person assigned a specific commodity to purchase for the trip like food, beverages and reading material. Now let this be a warning to all, never drink a beer called Zingaro from Lonar. Some of us apparently were still buzzed and in the ensuing confusion we boarded the train with 14 litres of drinking water, two dozen five-star chocolates and 7 copies of the Mid-Day. Suffice to say that by the time we reached Bombay we were well hydrated and buzzing with sugar but we had all done the same Sudoku puzzle 7 to 8 times each.

    I was more than pleased when I reached home. It had been a most wonderful trip. I had enjoyed the journey, the trekking and of course the joys of fellowship and sharing. So it was with much glee I entered my house and went into the kitchen to eat something. I opened the still warm food containers to find that my maid had made our weekend special. Bonda and Bhajiya.

    Dammit.

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    41 Comments »

    Comment by Sopeti
    2006-03-22 14:25:17

    Am I the first one to comment.. Lucky me …

     
    Comment by sopeti
    2006-03-22 14:36:38

    Hilarious..as usual.

     
    Comment by SEV
    2006-03-22 15:44:22

    Bonda bhajiya, broken down car, and beer.
    Bliss :P

    Classy dude, very classy. Have been going through the archives after getting the cricket post via email; and.. what can I say ? Brilliant; super-funnily brilliant.

     
    Comment by Alit
    2006-03-22 15:57:33

    Well… Did they tell you “You could have any food so long as its Bonda and Bhajiya!”, like Henry Ford once commented “Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black!” ? -;))

     
    Comment by LI
    2006-03-22 16:08:02

    Simply superb

     
    Comment by Anyesha
    2006-03-22 16:19:21

    I remember seeing hoardings for Zingaro beer all over Mumbai during my short stay there in 2001…but somehow the name never instilled much confidence and we never tried it…thank God for that.

     
    Comment by PSR Chaitanya
    2006-03-22 16:38:51

    Finally, we had a dose of your humour.

     
    Comment by Anonymous
    2006-03-22 16:58:58

    I think the word for Alu Bonda should rather be Batata Vada

    But hilarious post and worth the wait :-) Wish you all the best on your book.

     
    Comment by Venky
    2006-03-22 19:16:33

    Now I want to visit Lonar - walk down the hole, see human hands, have all the bonda bhajiya’s and see aurangabad when I’m hyperventilating!
    AS much as you dissed the trip it seems xtremely intersting ;)

    -Venky.

     
    Comment by Kris
    2006-03-23 01:37:45

    Hilarious…cant wait to read your book!!!

     
    Comment by Biju
    2006-03-23 05:09:42

    Sidin,

    Thanx for the posts…we missed ya!

    What about your column in the Business line? Did you discontinue it?

     
    Comment by dazedandconfused
    2006-03-23 05:38:01

    Worth the wait, Sidin! Very nicely written with an effortless humourous touch. Looks like you really did enjoy the trip. Best wishes for your book. Did you get a decent advance on it?! :)

     
    Comment by Rajesh
    2006-03-23 05:38:45

    I have been logging on mny times in this period to see updations on the blog. This one is good as well Sidin. All the best for your book. I am sure it will do well. I have also started writing a blog, inspired by yours. Anybody wants to check it out, the URL is http://wordmusings.blogspot.com/. Do leave your comments about the quality of the blog if you do check it out.

     
    Comment by stan_da_man
    2006-03-23 05:56:11

    yup…wicked humour at times is very impressive. me likeeyyy..exc dude..keep it flowin..and i dont mean just the Zingaro.

     
    Comment by Gautam Ghosh
    2006-03-23 07:34:53

    I stayed in Aurangabad in my previous life…!

    Brought back fond memories !

     
    Comment by Vamsi
    2006-03-23 10:26:02

    Points to be noted:

    1. Go visit lonar, ajanta, ellora caves. Good place to go with your partner and emulate the cave paintings.
    2. Do not drink Zingaro beer there.
    3. Drink lots of beer otherwise.
    4. Carry spare bonda bhajiya for grub.
    5. Buy a new dash-board deo if u r planning to go by car.

    All-in-All, more than the post its the feeling that you are back makes us feel good.

    Rock on!!

     
    Comment by Anonymous
    2006-03-23 11:00:33

    book?
    congrats.
    iw

     
    Comment by Peppered Soul on Ice
    2006-03-23 11:56:16

    Killer post, as usual. Well done.

    Hmm…zingaro? I thought they stopped making that one. I guess noone enjoys an old fashioned bitter brew anymore. :)

     
    Comment by Anonymous
    2006-03-23 13:06:25

    Very Good one!!! Keep it up

     
    Comment by snehal
    2006-03-23 18:31:40

    sidin,
    u dont post for weeks and then write these humongous posts; u r going to lose ur readers if u dont write regularly…
    u almost lost me, i get turned off by XL sized posts, keep em succint man, can u do that?

     
    Comment by vash
    2006-03-24 00:05:45

    Your narration brought the LONAR to LAGOS, Nigeria. Great sense of Humor sidin.

    cheers,
    vash.

     
    Comment by Sujeet Kuchibhotla
    2006-03-24 07:37:04

    U posted after a long time…eversince i read that cricketer post..ive been visitng ur blog to check for new posts…finally a post and also good news that ur book is coming through well…am i the only one who thought it wont be a completely funny one? i somehow had a gut feeling it wont be..all the best for ur book…and do we ( the regular blog readers ) get a sneak preview of ur book??…hehehehe

    Regards,

    Sujeet

     
    Comment by Varun
    2006-03-24 16:00:35

    hey pal, i am frm ur college now called nit trichy.saw u once giving lecture during the preplacement things.u sat on the stage in eee audi and made those absorbing statements. then i met u once in chennai outside liba,u were there for xat 2003,there u told me about how ur life is going after u left acs.and then i heard abt u making it to iim a. and now i am seeing u writing a book. u r really smthing mann. i am up for neting u write.all the best!!

     
    Comment by Gladtomeetin
    2006-03-24 22:55:21

    Hey cool one ! Anyway its always nice to experience different things and experience things differently ;-))

    Keep Rocking !

     
    Comment by Anonymous
    2006-03-25 07:49:22

    ha u remind me of the trip to saidapet in chennai-bad bearing in the scooty and a flat tyre,in that order…only it wasnt a fun trip.btw,do we get any idea as to what ur book is abt?jus curious hehe

     
    Comment by Anonymous
    2006-03-25 08:47:38

    smacks of bryson doesn’t it?

     
    Comment by The Graduate
    2006-03-25 13:16:15

    Classic. Loving the bits about the trek to the edge of the crater being arduous, the incessant conversationalist, and the bonda bhajiya. Do you get it in Bombay?

     
    Comment by The Graduate
    2006-03-25 13:25:47

    Classic. Loving the bits about the trek to the edge of the crater being arduous, the incessant conversationalist, and the bonda bhajiya. Do you get it in Bombay?

     
    Comment by d_grail
    2006-03-26 06:00:59

    big fan of urs..3 new posts(salivating!!)

    new book aso…waiting..keep writin,u were born for this!!

     
    Comment by venus
    2006-03-26 21:10:33

    very hillarious! i’m waiting to see you book getting published!
    what’s the title? B^4 - Bhonda bhaiya, broken car, beer?
    :)

     
    Comment by Anonymous
    2006-03-27 17:56:03

    Hey Sidin

    Does Dave Barry sound familiar to you?

    Just curious, the writing style is somewhat similar

     
    Comment by F e r r a r i
    2006-03-28 13:07:32

    Zingaro beer tastes sweet right? I had the misfortune of tasting it at one godforsaken bar in a place called khopar khairane!!!!

     
    Comment by Suze
    2006-03-28 20:14:59

    ha ha! now THAT sounds like a fun weekend :)

     
    Comment by curious
    2006-03-29 00:08:38

    wow!!Thats some piece of work…it was entertaining from the word go….went thru other comments..seems you are coming up with a book …all the best with that one!

     
    Comment by dharmu
    2006-03-29 00:47:38

    i got to read your blog pretty late, but man, it was fun reading this one.
    bored to death with work, this afternoon was light with humour and reading, thanx to you!!!

    You have done a great job.

     
    Comment by Anonymous
    2006-03-30 17:41:54

    Lol! Will remember you every time I have bondas from now on!

     
    Comment by Anonymous
    2006-03-31 11:17:46

    Donno why, but ur writing style has somewhat become very sterotyped !! It’s something like u are funny just for the heck of being funny !! Off course, u may wish to disregard this comment, but as a long time reader of ur blog, i felt like saying this

    - Karthik

     
    Comment by Bee
    2006-03-31 18:09:38

    v v hilarious…

    love to read ur blog cause it mostly makes me giggle !

    i hope that book which ur writing will be available in US too..

    :-) Cheers

     
    Comment by Vishy
    2006-04-18 09:13:21

    Ha ! The inspiration for that manager - travel travails piece of yours? ;)

     
    Comment by Revu
    2006-04-29 13:33:06

    Your Bonday Bhajiya sequence had me laughing out loud. So did the crater bit - makes a good story.

    But say what you like - it’s got to be a darn sight better that our rock solid idilis we get in Kerala

     
    Comment by Anonymous
    2006-05-23 15:26:26

    Moneh the climax was kidilum!!!

     
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