Sidin’s guide to the greatest Indian cricketers of all time especially that period between 4 and 6 pm last week
After yesterday’s fantastic win against Pakistan there is a new-found optimism in the Indian camp especially with our younger players coming of age and beginning to complement the senior players nicely. When asked of his feelings about the current Indian team Rahul Dravid stated that there was a new-found optimism in the Indian camp especially with our… you get the drift yeah?
So it is but natural that several young Indians of today, drunk with current glory, lose touch with the glittering past of Indian cricket. India has had a history of outstanding cricketers many of whom have been instrumental in the achievement of a large number of cricketing records by countries like Australia, Pakistan, England, Scotland, Vidharbha etc.
This negligence has to stop and the movement to relive our cricketing past starts with this blog right now. So today we celebrate some of the luminaries who have taken Indian cricket to where it is today in the cricketing record books (i.e. in the “vs.” column). This list is by no means exhaustive, authoritative or even authentic, and the author strongly expresses the opinion that you do not try this at home.
List of luminaries with brief biographies, often true. (Part 1)
Ranjit Singhji: One of the first great Indian cricketing heroes. Singhji was “The cricketer formally known as “Prince”". His most famous exploits include obtaining a UK visa and work permit and inventing the Leg Glance, a move whereby when friends’ sisters walks by in a short skirts you make a sweeping cricket shot action imitation thereby looking at their legs but not getting caught. Famously, Ranjit Singhji once fell ill after a mixing some bad milk in his cup of Darjeeling and could only bowl a single over. In spite of this he got 3 wickets through judicious use of line and length. This is immortalized today in the famous “Corridor of Uncertain Tea”. He names lives on to this day in the form of the tournament named after him, the “Coca-Cola Cup”.
Gundappa Viswanath: Widely considered the greatest left-handed batsmen from Andhra with a moustache to play in the 60s, in Indian History. Played several crucial test innings for India, many times pulling India back from the brink of complete disaster, taking them to mere comprehensive defeats. He was a daring, brave batsman who stood fearless in the face of the quickest bowlers, primarily because he was blinded by his moustache. Renowned for his deft footwork, he once, after being bowled for duck, moonwalked all the way back to the pavilion. His first name means “Fat Papa” in Tamil and this ensured constant victory for India against the Sri Lankans who could not bowl at him with a straight face.
Sunil Gavaskar: The first big international Indian cricket star. Scored thousands upon thousands of runs in a career that spanned several millions of balls left outside off-stump. He was affectionately known as Sunny, the Little Master and that little Prick though the first two were rarely used. He was a tireless team player and inspiring captain who often shouldered a lot of the batting burden and most of the match fees single-handedly. Gavaskar was a cricketer who patiently waited for the loose ball and once did so for three whole days in a limited overs match before stadium security politely asked him to leave. Gavaskar became the captain of India in 1982 taking on the mantle from Srinivasaraghavan Venkataraghavan, an accomplished cricketer himself, who retired from cricket in protest after it became mandatory to wear kits with one’s full name on the back.
Ravi Shashtri: Holds the record for maximum sixes hit in one over with 6 against Tilak Raj in Bombay. Shastri would have hit more but little Tilak had maths homework and a Social Studies test the next day and we all know how bad 7th standard CBSE is. Shastri was one of our first great all-rounders and once, in a remarkable game in the 1987 tour of Ooty and Coimbatore, Shastri bowled himself around the legs. Ravi Shastri was the heartthrob of millions of women in the late 80s and early 90s and was considered a great looker. This has now been found to be an error due to primitive TV broadcasting technology. He is now a well-known and respected cricket commentator. Fiercely patriotic, he recently pegged India to win all the one-days in the South African tour of Sri Lanka.
Kapil Dev: Explosive with the ball, dynamic with the bat and ridiculous with the English language, Kapil Dev was the life of many humorous post-match press conferences. Dev often stood alone in the face of adversity and dragged India out of tight spots. His 175 run innings in Tunbridge Wells is a classic and some of his shots continue to orbit the Earth to this day bouncing off space stations and interfering with TV broadcasts (see Ravi Shastri above.) Kapil Dev was also one of the first few cricketers to make it big in the world of advertising and synonymous with the caption: “Boost is the secret of my enema. Our enema. (Smile)” Nowadays he is a successful entrepreneur and often appears on TV when he roots for India from his heart saying: “India needs to play the games with the heart and the tactics is nice if then the whole together comes… err… boost is the secret of my enema…”
Krishnamachari Srikkanth: A dynamic one-day player who pioneered the technique of repeated letters in one’s name for good luck. Srikkanth was an explosive opening batsman who often stepped out of his crease and swung his bat with great gusto only to be stumped down leg side. He holds the record for maximum consecutives world cups without a haircut (4). Kris Srikkanth was the quintessential South Indian in the team who rapidly learned Hindi while playing for India, leading to an average of well over 4 run outs per match in the process. Today Kris is a passionate cricket commentator who can say “Oh shit, sorry” in over 14 north Indian languages.
Venkatesh Prasad: If Akthar is the “Rawalpindi Express” then for many years Venkatesh Prasad, a key part of the bowling attack, was affectionately called “The Slow Bangalore Passenger That Is Currently Broken Down At Palakkad Station. Passengers approach ticket counter for refund please.” Despite several key wickets, Prasad was not a pacey bowler but instead used a bewildering array of slow, slower and slowest balls to vex batsmen. In the 1992 World Cup he bowled a slow one to Wasim Akram that has not reached the batsman to this day. He was a pioneer of the “Intimidation” school of fielding whereby you do not run for the ball but merely try to stop it by looking at it gravely.
Anil Kumble: Named after the Anil Kumble Circle in Bangalore, where he grew up learning to bowl, Kumble continues to be one of the spinning maestros in the country. However he is not a big mover of the ball but instead unleashes a repertoire of balls so complicated even he does not know what he is doing. He holds the record for having captured 10 wickets in a single test innings but honestly cannot explain how. The author has a particular grouse with Mr. Kumble for having released a shitty cricket video game that the author’s brother forced him to buy. The game has graphics reminiscent of a Rohrschach Test and game play marginally more engaging than digging one’s nose. Kumble is frequently a useful all-rounder and was the first Indian to achieve the “supreme” double of 400 wickets taken and 4000 misfields.
Sachin Tendulkar: No one makes fun of Sachin. Not even me.
Sanjay Manrekar: Manjrekar is an exciting top order batsman with an amazing repertoire of shots. If you play him in that stupid Anil Kumble game that is. In real life he was often called a text-book cricketer, in the sense that watching him bat was like reading a macro-economics text book. Sanjay Manjrekar was full of technique and single-handedly developed 2567 ways of padding upto an off-spinner. His moment of glory was during the Ashes Test of 1994 when Imran Khan approached him and accepted defeat as several of the Pakistani players were collapsing from brain inactivity. Manjrekar valiantly declined and went on to score an astounding century in just under a fortnight.
Venkatpathy Raju: With tremendous movement off the pitch especially in windy gusty weather, Venkatpathy Raju is one of the lightest players to have ever played the game. His bowling, on the other hand, was tricky especially because of a complete lack of speed. Raju bowled with such little pace and his ball took so long to come that batsmen often practiced facing him by getting friends and relatives to courier cricket balls overnight to them through local courier companies.
That was the first edition of this special blog series on Indian cricket greats. Hope you enjoyed these brief character profiles and you often burst out, like Azhar, with the words: “Wow!! This I will do for free…” More exciting profiles of Indian cricketing heroes coming soon. Stay tuned.
(p.s. Before anyone gets worked up I know they were all brilliant cricketers and all this is just a joke. Except of course in case of Venkatesh Prasad. So please relax. And dont send hate mail please…)
Related posts:
- Of captaincy and perverted nomenclature Ho hum ho…
- The Unforgiven Srinivasan
- Lazy Tuesday Mornings…. Just completed the seco…
- Uff kya tiring room cleaning hey…
- An open letter to Freddie Flintoff
Mostly random observations on life, culture, offices, the missus and travel. Mostly just random. Updated with laughable infrequency. If you don't see anything new here may I suggest you pop over to our 
I just spat out my jaw laughing.
Thats Sidin at his best!! The post was simply humourous.
Awesome post !! U simply rock ! Waiting for the sequel.
Sidin – For President!!!!
Ravi Shastri was the heartthrob of millions of women in the late 80s and early 90s and was considered a great looker. This has now been found to be an error due to primitive TV broadcasting technology.
Spot the missing joke.
I read your blog all the time Sidin… and each time seems funnier than the last!
Today I actually had look away and think about other stuff to stop my self from laughing out loud (I was reading at work)…
So calling this the sex of humour (no pun intended) actually ain’t hyperbole!
Was that “Wagon R” advt inspired by you? I guess, you too have a “Wagon R” and now left a promising job to pursue a career of your interest.
Good one. However, I think Vishwanath was a right-handed batsman and he was from Karnataka.
nope! dont get any of those cricket jokes!
Sachin Tendulkar: No one makes fun of Sachin. Not even me.
????! ?????????????????.
Ahh great post again .
we at DA-IICT are thinking of forming 1st Sidin Fan club
Eagerly waiting for u r arrival
Well, what else can i say after almost staining my brand new shirt with some tea (and went on to drink water to wash the tea down and spilt that too!)…
When reading Sidin’s blog, you better not be sipping anything!
hehehehehe
Awesome post!! But I don’t think you’ve treated Kris “Arre, Charu Bhai, Kya Bolraha ho?” Srikkanth fairly? The man is so much more talented than you’ve made him out to be…
Rollicksomely humourose!
Though u cud have written some thing bout sachin..like that abdomen guard adjusting habit of his!!! lol…
-lechingsaint
ROTFLOL….Awesome post.
Hey Sidin,
Awesome post!! This was probably the only piece on Cricket that I enjoyed!I could never understand cricket:(
wow! what a post!
))
really really funny..
if you are a mallu who can read malayalam and do not know about a group of mallu bloggers, please visit some of the blogs here, you MIGHT find it very funny.
http://kodakarapuranams.blogspot.com/
http://arkjagged.blogspot.com/
shit now I know how bad I am at cricketing knowledge ..
coz till I read the comments I thought all that you wrote was true .. or did you write the truth in a funnny way.. or is the lie funny ??? I am confused
I did the mistake. I did it. I was advised not to read it in office and I did it. and I am in my office and laughing like a mad. Too good. waiting for second edition
ROTFL…Amazingly funny…
Brilliant!! Am gettin wierd looks from co-workers..hahaha! Just brilliant!
great post,
especially kapil dev and venkatesh prasad…too good..too good
Gundappa Vishwanath was born in Karnataka.
Excellent post, hats off to you.
Ravi
amazingly funny! laughed my behind off!! waiting for part 2…
Nice post indeed….you could write about Rahul Dravid (probably in the same breadth as Sunil Gavaskar and Sanjay Manjrekar’s)….SERIOUSLY WAITING FOR THE SEQUEL POST!!!
This is MURDER!!! hansa hansa ke maar raha hai …. ricking …. can’t stop laughing now
toooo much!! have been sitting in office and laughing like a fool !!
the answers aren’t ever far… are they… this stopped the laughter: http://gautambastian.blogspot.com/2006/02/my-rope.html
ROTFL!!!! Will remember the heroes from the past in a totally new light…..
excellent work
Sidin: Kinda agree with Vindy there. You have not given mah man Kris He-who-was-once-kissed-by-naked-streaker Srikkanth his due. And I can suggest some more names if you wish for the next edition.
I second the president motion. We all want more…
man! that was hilarious. thanx.
HILARIOUS! Do include Vinod Kambli and Javagal Srinath in the sequel.
Dude! I don’t even watch cricket and I almost peed my pants laughing
Good one.
41
ROTFL
And am surprised you didnt comment on Sanjay Manjrekar’s commentry – about as interesting as Sansad Samachar on an empty stomach
Noodle
hahaha…what a hilarious post! pulling India back from the brink of complete disaster, taking them to mere comprehensive defeats
learned Hindi while playing for India, leading to an average of well over 4 run outs per match in the process
dude ur blog was suggested by Prof. Handa and have u outdone anything i have read before by miles.. Venkatesh Prasad was too funny -waiting for Part Deux !!!
A gutsy dig and incomparable humor.. btw u did miss on post-retirement Kris with mandira Bedi.
ROTFL!!! Godamned funny man!!
Seriously , I shouldnt have read this in Office
…. It is way too funny .
Sunil
What is Cricket anyway
Really pro level. You should wise-crack for India.
Though IF I may quibble – the standard dropped a little after V. Prasad. Tail-ender syndrome?
Ridiculously funny! You should have no problem earning a living as a writer.
Simply brilliant ! I am down with fever in the office and did not open my mouth much. But while reading this post I could not resist laughing
!
I am at office and thanks to you have started the day in a gr8 way…LOL!!! gr8 post..waiting for the sequel
Mebbe something’s wrong with me but I have been reading your posts regularly (u r an inspiration!) and I like many of the others better.
Seems like you tried really hard on this one.
Peace people!
corridor of uncertain tea – quite priceless!
i think u made a lotta ppl wet their pants in office today, killed them with laughter and the lot.
seriously, was in totally rotten mood til i read this.
part 2. part 2 !
sachin’s juvenile voice?
oh the heavenly irony of it.
come on u can laugh at that.
good job sidin.
iw
you’re killing me man. the prasad paragraph had me laughing my ass off. i’ve linked this entry at a couple of places (hope that’s ok, you’re gonna get a lot of hits).
dude…. u ROCK… amazing..great post… going to be another long lasting ‘forward’ chain of mails..
-Sps
I came to know it was a funny post, when i read about Sachin-”Even i cannot make fun of him”…..lol….otherwise i cud have mistaken it for somebody penning down his nightware……
But it was unfair to Sachin…..
But i m still wondering (bot the post)….wat the hell it was…????
Ho ho ho…dont know when I’ll stop laughing. And you took a topic close to the heart of most of us. Plain hilarious!
Awaiting the next part!
Dude,
More respect to you, nobody should make fun of Sachin.
Awesome post, way to go!
I have a request. Why don’t you extend this cricketer-bashing to include international cricketers as well?
Rameez Raja would be the ideal candidate, who speaks of how dedicated and sharp the Pakistani attack is, when they’re getting hammered all over the place even by teams like Kenya and Bangladesh!
May the forces continue to be with you!
idiyet .. you made me laaf my ass of at 2 in the morning almost waking up people who go to office at 6 am ….
LOL…LOL…One of the best satirical posts in a loooooooong time!!
God-o-god,Sidin,this is damn funny.Laughing all body parts out when you are hungry is the second most pleasurefilled experience after…well.
This one is classic.
Gavaskar became the captain of India in 1982 taking on the mantle from Srinivasaraghavan Venkataraghavan, an accomplished cricketer himself, who retired from cricket in protest after it became mandatory to wear kits with one’s full name on the back.
Except for India’s contribution to records and Venkatesh Prasad the rest was ok. Guess it has become fashion for people to come here and write how hilarious it was just to keep up with the joneses. Otherwise you are an extremely talented writer. Keep it up.
oh my god, i have stomach and back pains from 10 mins of laughing and I can’t do research for a week now…
Way to go, sidin.. way to go
Vekatesh Prasad was no where to be seen 1992 world cup. This is not to say that post was not hilarious!! Damn funny!!
i dont understand wat is so called humourous or hillareous or wat ever MOST BORING ARTICLE I EVER READ. WASTE OF 15 MINUTES
awesome fucking hilarious…and the mark of respect for GOD is appreciated.You are right.Nobody makes fun of Sachin:)
caricature prose at its best. Amazing mix of fact and fiction.
Great work Sidin.
Ahahahaha. This is just too funny. And you were right about the ‘No one makes fun of Sachin’ part. You would have been lynched had you done so.
you just made my day !
great one !
you evil evil man. i laughed so much my insides and outsides are hurting
DAMN DAMN funny, this is right up there with the all time greats. Need to get a way to figure on the cricinfo’s media surfer blogs.
No one i mean no one has been more humorous on indian cricket.
Looking forward to Javagal Srinath’s write up
damn couldnt you put up some caricatures of these ‘GREATS’ alongside. would make it all the more hilarious.
Some RK Laxman stuff if available on the net
One of the best piece of hillarious AND original writing I have come across in blogs so far – and that too on cricket!! Just too good, man.
No one makes fun of Sachin.Not even you.Tsk tsk.Off the field anyones shenanigans are fair game.Have a free ferrari,mate.
great post! although i didn’t understand the vishy stuff. Keep the series going, we have a long list of heroes.
P.S: sourav’s absence conspicuous,
not again(or should it be another)!!
awesome post. A big cricket fan myself. totally loved it. Have a few cricket posts myself… though I dont promise to be as entertaining as u are. way to go..already waiting for the sequel… and “no one makes fun of sachin. not even me”.. well said.
awesome post. A big cricket fan myself. totally loved it. Have a few cricket posts myself… though I dont promise to be as entertaining as u are. way to go..already waiting for the sequel… and “no one makes fun of sachin. not even me”.. well said.
Man u shud write jokes for hindi movies. The tapori’s will love ya!
Gundappa Vishwanath is not from Andhra. What ignorance. He has also now settled in Bangalore his hometown from day one. He has married Sunil Gavaskar’s sister.Pl ger your facts right. except this slip Sidin is good humour.
Top effort. Such is the repetoire of the cricketers than most deserve complete profiles and not just 3-4 lines.
On Vishwanath. He was right handed. Either I didnt get a joke or you made a small error. Never mind either way.
And I appreciate your gesture of not making fun of Tendulkar.
Hilarious….looking forward to part 2 of this…
Dude I have quizzes tmrw. But after this I hv gotta read more of your posts….
Sachin Tendulkar: No one makes fun of GOD. No human.
BRILLIANT !!!!!!
Hey Sidin,
Like Wine you get just get better and better with time! I just love your posts. I’m sure I’ll see a novel written by you soon on the book stands (I want to see a sarcastic one full of humour
)
Kalyan
allowing for the fact that this piece is supposed to be a light read. Get some facts right.
Gundappa is NOT from AP.He is from Bangalore. A kannadiga born in Bhadravati in Karnataka.
http://www.cricketfundas.com/gvishwanath.html
And Gundappa is a 100% Kannada name, nothing “Tamil” about it.
Get your facts right.
Red..Intresting stuff!.. Even tho i am so off cric
I hope I dont have to sue you for the ‘gut-fix’ operation I may have to undergo. Truly hilarious,great one !!
I can make fun of Sachin!
“hey! Sachin you have changed your car many times but why are you still using MRF radials for the LAST 10 YEARS???”
Duh! BECAUSE THEY ARE PAYING ME!!!!
what idiots!
Sachin = Madaaris monkey!
throw money at him and see him dance!
Loved the one on Sachin!
Loved the one on Sachin!!
Great laugh… Waiting for more !
LOL. Very nice. Btw, you forgot an illustrious cricketer in that list. Doddanarsaiah Ganesh – the man who invented the under duck balls.
Dude. You killed me. I’m going to be getting strange looks for weeks.
Although, of course, you forgot that Tendulkar is the great, great player who has more runs than anyone else in the ODI form of the game …
Awesome!!
First few entries made me laugh very very hard and the entry on Sachin made me respect you even more.
Keep it up!
Hilarious stuff. I’d say more, but I’m in stitches after reading that.
WOW , that was brilliant
)
“no one makes fun of Sachin,not even me” – truly appreciated
i got this post over mail and the sender did not know “which blog this was from”. That was easy, I thought, I reached your blog and there it was! Riproaring piece of writing.
****** Re – Readable *****
There’s a myth that Kris Srikanth used to get “OUT” quickly in order to have a smoke…Not sure how true this myth is
Good one Sidin…:) Loved reading it !
sidin, to be very frank this one seemed like you were making an effort to be humorous, just didn’t have the natural flow to it.
hey sidin,
start writing more… u inspire lots of useless and silly thoughts…
V..
Gundappa Vishwanath was a right handed Karnataka born batsmen with a very rare pure Kannada name. Okay, the word in Tamil might also means the same. What the …. I think even in Malayalam it might mean the same(May be Gundappan…)
Since I don’t expect you to make such lousy factual errors, I think you have hidden agenda against Kannadigas( the person you have singled out is again a Kannadiga, Venky). I think I know the reason after reading “…South Indian men”.
Respect for Tendulkar .. Highly apreciated..
Abt Kumble , I dont know why people still prefer to call him a leg spinner..
But kapil’s english is not a problem .. he learnt it from Rapidex English Speaking Course…
Gr8 blog.. Had to hold my stomach to stop laughing, and that too when i am in office..
visited your blog for the first time and have already bookmarked it.. Gr8 going!!
Sidin,
very hilarious one. You have the rare ability to find humuour in everything. Great Job
cooool man..too much to handle at a time…
waiting for nxt one..!!
awesome post…
take a bow dude…
cheers
Unbelievable dude!! Awesome post! Couldn’t stop laughing all the way!
Are you distantly related to Darth Sideous?? ..
too good.. will definitely read other entries of yours .. wonder didnt spotted your blog earlier
Good reading – except for a few facts which you got wrong -> pointed out by other early bird readers
Dude – add another one to your already large fan-base. I also happen to be working with one of your seniors at IIM. If you’ve quit your job to write full-time you’ve clearly reached top-tier on Maslow’s chart.
Looking forward to more stuff in more places.
Ripping stuff. Linked the whole damn thing.
ROFTLMAO!
Enuff said!
For the reading pleasure of all the audience of this blog,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Street_cricket
–Gops
Amazingly funny!!!! Hey Sidin, please please _please_ write more funny articles!
Honestly, I didnt like the nelson’s in the number of comments on the cricket blog…hence this comment… Took me a while to gather myself from the splits u got me into from reading your post to posting this comment…
Little effort and job well done…Keep em coming
Taken liberties to post a link on my blog…
God level man.
SIMPLY GOD LEVEL !
Oh My God!! I cant stop laughing even now!!!
was having a miserable day..this blog of yours so totally completely cahnged my mood!!Thanks!!:-)
it’s awesome sidin!!!!!
my roomy is still giving me stares for i’ve been laughing like crazy!!!
a friend had sent me ur link..and i av bee reading non stop for last 3 hours..only question y did u not take up writing earlier and go thru the rec-iim way…continue the good work..u made my day
Dear Sidin,
You seem to be a highly respected individual among sex-deprived, academically proficient and “deliberately intellectual” racounters who keep ranting about your writing capabilities throughout the day. I usually, didn’t give much thought to the hype, but I must confess, apart from the the whopping number of responses, the testimonials (which eventually, I would presume would be, helpful for those “oh so hep n happening” online marriage portals), the evidentally humor deprived “leno-letterman-imdb-iim-iit-cnbc-shirinbahn-java” enthusiasts…DAMN BOI…? do you have a life mr.sidin ?
ROTFL….
Keep Blogging.
HP
PS: Read your articles in JAM, thought they were not upto the marks of some of your blog posts. Hope you will reach there..Best Of Luck Mate!!!
Sidin, Brilliant…
WOW…hillarious I must say…
I dont know the first one but rest all cool ones…:D
Thanks to bombayite for giving me this link….Good sense of humor I must say
keep writing
Cheers
Buddy, you rock!
Awwweeesomme post. Kept me laughing all thru.
Me couldn’t help searching for Saurav though…
Radha.
Too much man!! I bow to thee, O great God of modern humor!!!
Cant cut paste portions of it that I liked as it would mean pasting the whole damn thing!
Good stuff…
Why chicken out when it comes to Sachin? So much for irreverence…on the other hand, i can understand that you want to live
Awesome post again..especially prasad, gavaskar and kapil …way to go sidin ..
‘Srinivasaraghavan Venkataraghavan, an accomplished cricketer himself, who retired from cricket in protest after it became mandatory to wear kits with one’s full name on the back.’
Very funny stuff U have here.
Looking forward to part two!
Awesomely funny post man!!!
waiting for the sequel…
I know you should be some F**kin Northie who does not know other than Tamil & tamil nadu in South India.
I dont know whats wrong within your ass you started criticizing people even without the facts being correct
Your bloggong is like barking if you think Venkatesh Prasad was palying 92 world cup,G.R.Vishwananth was from Andhra with tamil name take you d**k out it in some mad dogs mouth so that something can be reason for your madness
If you want to do somethign useful stop doing this & concentrate on others useful things.
wonderful man…keep it up
Amazingly funny!!
Thanks for writing this !
awesome one Sidin….
GOOOD!!!!….reliving the memoies of the glorious past in the hope of an even better future !!
Awesome suff!!!
Always thought you were kind of overrated but this one looks more forced than ever…
Dont try so hard to be funny coz u naturally are….so describe ordinary, mundane things from your heart and what you write will turn out to be funny any which way…
Also, a sugggestion is not to get carried away.. just because this is what u do for a living now, does not mean u need to start comprising on quality…
.. a writer writes well when he writes from the heart.. dont lose the spontaneity..
This isnt papa preaching.. just some advice u may find useful
Good Lord, this is amazingly humourous. The BEST post i have read ever…waiting for the sequel
Ashwin
ROTFLMAO!!
In local IIMA lingo -> simply GOD level man!!
vishwanath was right handed but then every batsmen is right and left handed because they use both hands to hold the bat!!!
This is howlarious, I just can’t stop laughing !
Can’t wait to see part 2 !
Great Work Sidin.
Check out this link..you might be interested.
http://www.oxfordbookstore.com/oxfordonline/Services/eauthor4/
Ram
just too gud…!!! awesome wud be an understatement… sidin rawks….
has been said b4, but i’l say it again – waiting for d book
This is getting to be ridiculously addictive!! You are quite the ‘drug pusher!’ Bless you for that!
Incredible wit
Quite humourous
For yr kind information, GR Vishwanath is from Bangalore, not from Andhra pradesh.
Keep it up
Awesome man….
Perhaps the funniest cricket post I have ever read….
Wonderful…
Keep rocking…
you owe me money for the operation that I went through after splitting my sides with laughter. However, I will fore go the money for another post like this one!!!
dude…hilarious man…n yes sachin is GOD…no one makes fun of him…
Hillarious. Now I see why you left your post IIM-A career.
LOL…I couldn’t stop laughing or reading the next line. This despite being a sworn cricket-o-phobic. Was only disappointed over your comment (or lack) on ‘aapla Sachin’.
awesome post sidin..krur singh here..
hope u have awesome success with ur new career..
still laughing
awesome prose!
good one
this was some of the most brilliant writing i’ve seen in a long time…i loved the post and will be back for the 2nd part!!
your sense of humor is well.. err.. um.. good.. yeah, thats i what I wanted to tell you.. Anyways include sourav dada in your subsequent version
vishy was rite handed from karnatak or mebbe i missed sumthin….its funny u cudnt make fun of tendulkarbut I guess most ppz wud then have sent h mails
even after reading the disclaimer….in generall tho i was rofl
Good fun! But get your fact rights Sid. Gundappa Vishwanath is from Karnataka. Oh hell, actually who cares!?
I got this as an anonymous e-mail forward, more’s the pity. Luckily, also happened to spot it on India Uncut as the “funniest post ever”. Nice.
Venkatesh Prasad was great. I once commented to a cricket-crazy colleague that his main weapon was the “well disguised faster one”. He laughed and laughed but noone of the 20 or so others I repeated it to found it as amusing. I guess this is the right forum to find a few like minds!
Some others, inspired by this post (yes I have included the Pakis as well!)
Maninder Singh
His collection of fine bats, all in excellent condition, rarely used, is the pride of Delhi. He took a lot of wickets with his unique brand of left arm spin and a strategy of bowling so slowly that most batsmen fell asleep waiting, only to wake to the ominous sound of a “howzzat”. He is unequivocally considered as India’s greatest spinner by every ex-cricketer by the name of Bishen Singh Bedi. Ravi Shastri once tried to put a supari on his head after being stranded at the other end with one to get in one too many matches. Enjoyed brief stints as umpire and TV commentator, the latter ending when too many people called DD’s helpline to complain of high-pitched whining emanating from their sets when he spoke.
Abdul Razzak
Abdul Razzak was once touted as Pakistan’s great white all-round hope, but that was before Imran Khan dismissed him as “too ugly”. His name is derived from the Persian phrase Abd ul Razd darr’haq ul Hind or “I play well only against India”. Nobody outside the subcontinent has any recollection of him, which makes digging up his records difficult. He has no known documented fans.
Saeed Anwar
His CIA nickname is “The Beard”. He once scored 194 runs in a match against India, 192 of which came off Venkatesh Prasad. He holds the dubious distinction of being the only person in the Pakistani team that was on speaking terms with Aamer Sohail, though their conversation was usually restricted to “Yes”, “No” and occasionally, “Aaj Friday hai miya, haar nahi sakte inn kafiron se”.
Mohammed Yousuf
His full name is Mohammed Narayan Yitzhak Yousuf, TAFKAY (the artist formerly known as Yohanna). Converted to Islam after attending a moving motivational session organized by captain Inzamam ul Haq titled “The team that prays together, loses together”. Shares a room with Danish Kaneria on tour, whom he affectionately calls “Mohammed”.
Awesome man! Couldnt stop laughing out alone, with the risk of others taking me to b a nerd who loves to laugh at the comp scrn.Keep up the good work
Excellent read; totally worth the time. I am still laughing
You are right when you say “No one makes fun of Sachin”
GOOD JOB
Good article, but G. Vishwanath is not from Andhra but from Karnataka. He is also not a left hander but Right hander!!!
i had to be taken to the hospital cause i spread my entrails all over the floor after my belly got ripped while laughing. Now i’m cleaning up the floor.
I truly am a novice when it comes to Cricket. But every line of that blog was funny.
Awesome post, Sidin. You made my day.
Hi Sidin,
I am at gurgaon and came to know about this blog from India Uncut.You rock.I am going to add you in my roll of fame with scott adams(dilbert),boing boing,J V Rajan and amit varma.you’ll be 5th and my favourite.
..Laughing all the way to Chinnaswamy Stadium
Oh My!! What do you have against Venkatesh Prasad?
But you forgot one thing. Venkatesh Prasad was the only guy and will ever be the only guy who can try for a run after giving the ball to the keeper..
Gutso guy!!
sar, you are my new favourite cricket guru!
had this been a little funnier and you would be blamed for turning the art of blogging into a violent way of killing people!!
noopsterama
are you saying that a cartoon on danish kaneia would be inappropriate as it might be blamed by people in copenhagen as well as followers of mohammed?
did you know that srinivasaraghavan venkataraghavan’s real name is srinivasa venkata? but that does not rhyme, does it?
“p.s. Before anyone gets worked up I know they were all brilliant cricketers and all this is just a joke. Except of course in case of Venkatesh Prasad. So please relax. And dont send hate mail please…”
o jokester, do you recommend that cartoonists – especially danish ones – carry this reference in the future? would it save their ass, neck or head or some other body part? or would you advocate that we indians stop worshipping our cricketers, including the said prasad or not?
Gundappa vishwanath is from Karnataka and he was a right handed batsman. Get the facts right
I bought the Anil Kumble game too! Still have it with the receipt and original packing material. Where can I get a refund?
Awesome …. u rock dude !!!
Great post Dude. Not sure how you got this style. I would love to be in your shoes. Is this your post too?
http://mindmouse.blogspot.com/2006/02/travails-of-indian-celibate.html
Cheers
Mark
cool funny post. but you’ve got some of your facts wrong, buddy.
Yeah, for Sachin…you could at least write ‘The Man with the Steel Underwear….thats why he keeps adjusting it all the time’
ultimate JUNK. If you surf a little bit, u will find better jokes! dont waste time on this
hey sidin….
first time here…awesome posts…you really whacky…
Im linking you…
cheers
Kannan
awesome post man. couldnt stop laughing..my supervisor had this weird look on his face and when i forwarded this to him, even he couldnt control his laughter..
just small piece of info..
vishwanath was from karnataka nd a right handed batsman, while imran khan retired in 1992 after the world cup and venkatesh prasad was not on the international scene especially not during the 1992 world cup.
still hilarious
Your fan following badly needs a life. Please give us more stuff like ” Single South Indian Men”, instead of this piece that blasphemes my religion
Hey Sidin,
Do I detect the spirit of Douglas Adams in here? Do you hitchhike across the galaxy?
I think my funny bone just cracked.
Thanks…………
awesome
)
Sidin~
Thou art the greatest!!
Smitten by the drudgery of compiling my thesis and defending within the improbable space of the next 4 weeks, I chanced across your blog – if I dont shut down this browser window RIGHT NOW and move off, I think the girl sitting across me in the computer lab today, will have me thrown out of this library for grinning, guffawing and chuckling every few seconds …. honestly, the first time I read the “travails of the South Indian men”, I managed to send some snot up my brain …..
You’ve given me a new lease of humor in these dark dreary days ….. there is hope and there is a tomorrow and I WILL graduate !!!!
Today is 23rd and Sidin will be here in DAIICT on 25th to conduct the annual quiz -HEADRUSH
So, ppl who haven’t booked their tickets..Go rushhhhhh
Dude…i dunno if you are aware of this but your blog has reached corporate circles now…people are taking time outs because of aching stomachs and jaws(aching cos they read your blog!)…..
I for one, short of rolling on the floor, could be heard cubicles away!
Hilarious would be an understatement!!!….keep it up and get that sequel done fast!!
P.S. Try Dalmiyas…..hes “more than just a cricketer”!!!
Been a regular reader of ur blogs…but this simply has to b the best one yet!!! Rock on Sidin!!
Awesome.. don’t forget to include dear man Sidhu post criketing career
ROTFL!!!!!LOL nice post dude…waitin for the next part….N YES NOBODY MAKES FUN OF SACHIN TENDULKAR…
Hilarious post dude .. we had a office full of folks rolling over with laughter. Keep it up dude!
Sourav
Mind Blowing… Am just laughing my A$$ off…
I laughed so hard…I cried..
Am in office right now and people around me and looking at me like I am creature from mars…
i actually fell out of my chair while reading this one
great going sidin. You make us mallus feel proud 
ROTFL sidin
keep up the awesome work
u rock
sidin, You just made the thing so funny. The funny truth. Good that you did not comment on Sachin. He is the best
gr8 1 dude, waitin for d sequel
gud 1 dude, waitin for d sequel
Bhai Sahab,ye post likhkar mar gaye kya?? Ya ise baaki zindagi niharte rahenge..
Loved the line on Manjrekar’s technique…
will not hear any words of dishonour against v…e..n..k….a…t..e..s..h
p..r..a.aa hh yawn.
He was although a precisely mediocre dropper of the ball ..but he …he was the only one who used to demonstrate by glares ,for the team the extent to which he was miffed and pissed after getting clobbered.
dude where have u disappeared? and that too after the assurance about more frequent updates!
raj
WE WANT MORE! WE WANT MORE! WE WANT MORE! WE WANT MORE!
You @$%#ing S.O.B!!!!!!
If you’re gonna write gems like this, which I read at work, you’re gonna get me fired for laughing out so hard.
Well done!
Nice one Sidin,
Waiting for more, rather something about More et. al.
-M
hey Sidin, you need to keep up to your word, mallus generally dont but mallus from dubai should be different
what say?. have been waiting for the next sequel since ages now. Have blogrolled you.
The post really had me in trouble trying to supress my laughter and thereby making even funnier noises.
Wheres the sequel ?
Wheres the sequel ?
Wheres the sequel ?
Wheres the sequel ?
Wheres the sequel bro?
jaldi karo.. i have tons of assignments nowadays and i need my dose of humour….
Sidin ~
Just curious, but almost ALL comments on your posts are overwhelmingly lauding you with laurels along the line of … “you are the funniest chap …ever…. etc etc …”..
do you ever get hate mail ….
does all this fawning ever get boring for you .. one can only puff up so much .. ! just curious …
i’ve read this post thrice now, and even for the 3rd time I cant stop laughning thinking of Raju and Manjrekar and little Tilak Raj!!
cant wait for the sequel!!
awesome!!
hilarious…
Hey Sidin,
Got ur blog address from daphne who works with me. Been one of the biggest mistakes i ever did. apart from feeling ashamed of the fact that i’ve never blogged after my first two posts a year back(http://justsid.blogpsot.com), I just cant stop reading ur posts.
Which is not exactly good news seeing that I’ve just joined this job and spend half my time reading instead of finishing the presentations i have to make.
Anyway keep up the good work dude…
Awesome.. but your undue and unnecssary respect for Sachin is certainly uncalled for… You could have had a few laughs about the his “manly” voice.. especially in the Gillette ad along with the likes of Border and Richards…
Dude,
I think our past masters deserve much better treatment.
How about we achieve something first and then poke fun at others?
And becoming president of a group of jobless jaldras does not count as an achievement!
Humour is best when the characters are anonymous or known to be a pain in the neck. Dragging innocent/respectable people into the mud tantamounts to deriding.
Buddy,
There isn’t much i can say that not already said!!!
Dude that indeed was hilarious!!
You had the whole of Wipro in splits… I forwarded it to a manager, and even the whole management was laughin!!!
hi,
your article is great (plz. correct those grammar mistakes).
i think you were “inspired” by douglas adams’ style.
When is your next post?
we are all waiting here……..
I’m a representative of the whole of resident doctors in the State of Maharashtra who have gone on strike for demanding our basic rights. Please support our cause and spread the news around. Kindly visit our blog and show us your support.
damn nice man!
really enjoyed it!
wow…funny indeed.
Sidin,
Please don’t write anymore. I shudder to think of the reason for getting thrown out of office – “This person is fired for doing a Miandad at Office – laughing insanely and jumping as if he trying to stamp out a ball speeding to the boundary.”
wonderful post !!!!!waiting for the 2nd in the series!!
hellloooooo…where are you???… somebody go n check on this chappie…
sidin, hope u r allright. Ill-health is the only reason am willing to accept for this looong silence!! Let me remind you, that we, as your ardent fans, DEMAND that you write in frequently!!!!
After all the ganguly-bashing that was going on, I had completely given up hope that anyone would write anything funny about cricket ever again…thank you for reigniting my faith in humanity (although, given a personal opinion, that work was much too sublime to be completely human…a touch of the devil perhaps?
)
Extremely funny dude !! Venkatesh Prasad’s was da best!!
As there is no sign of Sidin coming up with the sequel any time soon, I thought of a novel way of prodding the dude out of his slumber! Lets all try to repeating what Sid done! And seeing the mediocrities to things are taken, Sidin would come back and set the record straight! Houwzzzaat?!!!! -;)
So here is my bit!
Navjot Singh Siddu:
No one knew Siddu speaks until he retired. And probably that explains why there are more people mourning his retirement now!
This quintessential commentator changed the way the commentary was aired with his brand of commentary called Sidduism. For the uninitiated Sidduism is nothing but a
bunch of by-hearted phrases and sayings which are delivered from the commentary box with a scant regard for the situation on the ground…
Most of sidduism was a direct translation punjabi usages which he over heard while walking the streets of Patiala, and later translated into English by one Montey Sing, a
retired English professor, who now regrets his sin. Siddu, now want of Sidduism was forced to leave commentary and spends his time in various talk shows in Indian news channels, where his show anchor’s only job is stop Siddu from talking to bring some sanity into the proceedings.
Sourav Ganguly:
The batsman widely known as Prince of Calcutta was often alleged living in an imaginary princely world, where there was no place for short balls, rib gages and Shoaib Akhtars etc. Not necessarily in that order.
While batsmen like Tendulkar had at least 2 shots for every ball bowled at him, Sourav had mastered at least 3 ways of getting beaten for every ball.
Recently Sourav created quite a furor in England when he walked unto Geoffrey Boycott to know where exactly is this Corridor of Uncertainty, as he found the entire pitch as one!
Sourav holds the record for getting out maximum number of times while trying to pull, which is not expected to be broken unless he comes back and play for India again.
(http://juzzfun.blogspot.com)
that was really ..truly..hilarious..:-)
Man, you rock with humor….
in case you didn’t know, Venkatapathy Raju’s nickname was ‘Muscles’….
there was a photo of Raju with Brian Macmillan of South Africa…both are great pals….incidentally, Raju was found in a corner of the photo in which Macmillan occupied 99% space…
Sidin, you’ve probably heard this a million times before, but this is probably the best blog post I’ve ever read. You provided some comic relief amid my GMAT prep monotony, God bless your funny-ass soul
Good luck on your freelance writing venture. Will follow your career with a lot of interest. Have you considered something like standup comedy? Might not be a big thing yet in India, but you never know. Do check out my blog at http://chennaitochicago.blogspot.com/ when you get some time.
Srinath: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. He happens to be the only cricketer to have bowled his entire career without pitching the ball in the same spot ever. Also, he invented the great form of swinging the bat wildly and never connecting a ball, thus giving the opposition very little scope for slip catching.
waiting for the sequel.. no updates yet
This is some great stuff, you just earned yourself a fan for life, waiting for part 2
sidin! can u hear me? 230 voices shouting at you too.
hope all is well with u.
iw
What a great post! And you had to kill the humor with the disclaimer in the end.
Balls to those who dont get even the most basic jokes, especially something as funny as this.
-Anon Reader.
hey you??? what is this man??after such a hilarious post, how can you prefer not to post anythin??all of us are waitin…………….pls dont let us down………
This is such a looooooooooong break. C’mon we need more posts..
Your worst fears will come true. This guy is going stalk you for the rest of your life.
I’m sorry. This guy will stalk you for the rest of his life. If he lives more than you do (god forbid), he’ll sit at your grave and say
This is such a looooooooooong break. C’mon we need more posts..
Amazing posts attract heaps of comments. Need I say more
This has to be about the greatest collection of laughs put together. If there is going to be a second edition, I cannot wait.
Hi,
I am Kartik Kannan at Sulekha.com (www.Sulekha.com).
I had the opportunity to see your blog post . I found the post on cricket really interesting, and so would anybody at Sulekha blogs which brings me to an offer I would like to make to you.
By creating a parallel blog on Sulekha Blogs, you can dramatically boost the number of people viewing your posts, commenting on them and connecting with each other. All you need to do is give us your approval (Reply to this mail with a YES) so that we can feed your blog posts via RSS into your customized blog page on Sulekha.
We at sulekha apologize sincerely if you think that we are intruding into your personal space, we had liked your post and hence just making you an offer that would enable you to put forth your ideas and share them with many people all over the world.
Kartik Kannan (kartikk@sulekha.net)
Team Sulekha
I blog at http://www.katchucrap.blogspot.com
http://kartik.sulekha.com
hey too long without a post sidin..
waiting eagerly for one another of ur usual hilarious posts..
Yaa! man got it as a FW and then read most of the posts on your site. They are good and best of luck for you book? Are you working on one now? Do update the blog.
why don’t you write something about South Africa’s phenomenal victory over Australia? Ciao
No post since one month?
Sincerely missing it.
Dude!
This place is getting dusty.
Cobwebs around already…
ssup???
Very good post.
Btw, Gundappa Visvanath was a right handed batsman born in K’taka
Well a big salute to you dude….i think u took the write decision to make a career out of your writings…coming to your blog for the first time….started with an email circulating with ur story of “travails of south indian men..”..was just ROFL…and i am now going thru all ur archives…may ur tribe increase !!
abso-fucking-lutely hilarious.
psst.. would you please write a better version after our “glorious” defeat against England.
nice one siddin…its sad tat the past greats didnt get paid and get the due recognition that was requred..
Sidin u made laugh heart out after so many months. Nice post.
cheers,
vash.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha….u get the drift:)
ROFL!!!!! neat! definitely got tat drift!!!!! =))
awesome!
machi, this was hilarious… had tears in my eyes laughing!
Your blog reminded me of the joke that we used to crack about Rahul Dravid. “Dravid is such a technicallly perfect player that if he hits a cover drive he would hit it straight to cover fielder”.
Keep posting your blog is funny.
I appreciate you for not making fun of sachin tendulkar…i really like that
First Timer here.. extremely funny post.. I wish I had suppressed my guffaws cos half the office is on my desk reading your blog now..
Would have wished you to take on Sachin..
Would visit more..
Had me laughing my ass off…Hats Off
Absolutely hilarious!! I loved the part about “the greartest cricketer with a moustache”, and “he was a fearless player because he couldn’t see the ball”!!
leaving out sachin is really bad…. i can write some if u want…
Very Good Post Indeed.
The first blog i read more than once.
this is the most funnniest piece of writin i have ever read… totally hilarious… u r GOD man….plzz do write more..
Hey Sidin,
I was almost rolling with laughter, literally tears running down my cheeks, and at office! guys around had a stern look at me, and probably thought I went insane.
Prasad and Srikk were outstanding. Thanks for it man 
One of the best humourous reads ‘ve ever had
-Doc.
Sidin, wonder wr u r & wt ur upto,
u gotta wake upto dude, we need some humour to stave off the pain of the humiliating defeat at the world cup..
Here’s something I heard recently..
A teacher asked students in class wt their fathers did for a living. Answers wer doctor, salesman etc, but Billy was quiet, so teacher asked about his dad, Billy said “My dad is an exotic dancer at a gay night club, takes off his clothes in front of other men..Teacher took him aside and said ‘is that true ?’Billy – “Not true, but i was too ashamed to say he plays cricket for India”
[...] Sidin’s guide to the greatest Indian cricketers of all time especially that period between 4 and 6… So it is but natural that several young Indians of today, drunk with current glory, lose touch with the glittering past of Indian cricket. India has had a history of outstanding cricketers many of whom have been instrumental in the achievement of a large number of cricketing records by countries like Australia, Pakistan, England, Scotland, Vidharbha etc. [...]
I don’t know if you have a grudge against one or more of these cricketers but I don’t give a damn.
This was one hilarious piece- I don’t remember when was the last time I read something so decent yet funny!
Looking forward to your continuations.
stumbled upon ur blog for the first time- excellent and hilarious!!! will keep coming back for more
Interesting post! keep blogging.
funniest shit ever man ! cant stop laughin
and great RESPECT for not making fun of sachin man
Dude, I hope Sehwag, Ganguly and Azza feature in part two. They were glaring omissions
Cheers …
Hi Sidin. when is the next version released? this is one good. decent article I have read in a long time that made me lol.
great work bud.
why not try some aussie cricket greats, and post it in cricinfo. will be good before the indian tour of australia.
Cricket Online…
Everyone seems to have a pathway to the http://www….
Really Good one ….
Awesome Dude .. Kepp up the good work !!
We Want some ausie’s on the hit list.. come on.. some more pls
Too funny.. damn good dark humor. I loved the Gundappa vishwanath’s foot work bcoz of which he moonwalked
))
hey man..
this was so hilarious.. i still cant stop laughing.. too too gud..
No one does. Period.
nice touch there, sidin.
A single line for sachin…. HA HA
Chennai Coimbatore
I think it is the single most hilarious post I have read in the recent times!
Thanks for it
beautiful. F***ing beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!
Friggin Hilarious dude!!! I loved the Prasad one the best!!!
One Correction.. Gundappa Vishwanath is not from Andhra and Gundappa's meaning of Fat Papa is not in Tamil.. !! Do better homework next time..
Let us have a bit to do with bad commentators like Arun Lal also. How about some Paki cricketers too, like Miandad and Rameez Raja.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Let us have a bit to do with bad commentators like Arun Lal also. How about some Paki cricketers too, like Miandad and Rameez Raja.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.
Pls write something creative about Dhoni also.