The olympics has to be one of the most depressing things I have ever seen. Late night TV session after late night TV session I have gone to bed feeling sourer than that generic Gujju lemon pickle they serve everywhere in Ahmedabad. Of course it would’nt have been that way if I was american or chinese. Oh those guys have nothing to crib about (except their president and facial indistinguishability in that order…). Is it too much to ask for a little more than one silver? So now everytime I have to scroll down the entire medals table till almost the very end to catch a glimpse of the motherland. Past such illustrious sporting nations as Latvia, the Dominican Republic, and of course the UAE. The combined population of these three countries being less the number of people missed out on the electoral roles during the recent Lok Sabha elections in the Mumbai South constituency. Dammit. (Some consultancy firm came up with a report that we will have atleast 10 Olympic Golds with us by 2040. Yes we will… if we host it or something…then we wil have the whole lot for sometime…)
So I content myself watching freestyle wrestling. At one point I was rooting for this hairy guy from Azerbaijan I think. I really cant tell the difference between all these consonant-y countries. Freestyle wrestling is very gay in parts. Which makes it really kinky when the women are having a go. Anyways that was another sport where we got blown out of contention within a few nanoseconds of our wrestlers hitting the mat. One Indian guy was down ten points in one minute or so. (In wrestling you need to do a lot of shit to get 10 points. Its not bridge ok…) The irony was that before the wrestling started our wrestlers vowed to put an end to all the beating our national pride was getting throughout the olympics. They were right. Now that we dont have any, noone can beat it up. Pity about Anju though, she just seemed to hiccup under the pressure. She looked all worked up and all. (No mallu senti here. Let me not start on where all those wrestlers hail from.)
Then there is that national game. Which reminds me, its a lot like our national bird and animal too no? Not too much of any of them around. If it weren’t for Egypt we would’ve lost all our games. But we did beat Korea and come 6th in the end. You know we should have the option to change our national sport. It should be something we are good at. Right now I root for Double Trap Shooting.
Thank god there are Onam special Mohanlal reruns to quickly switch to when the athletics get too depressing. Onam is complete only with a few good reruns and a few family comedies in the evenings. Some of those Dileep comedies are unbelievably funny, a close second behind anything the state wing of the congress does.
Its good to be back home. I was getting a little too comfy with the wide roads, uninterrupted power and active phone lines of Ahmedabad. After more than a year of regularity the power cuts, voltage fluctuations and general lack of customer service was a reality check.
Me: Telephone Enquiry?
TE: Yes…Me: Jet Air Thrissur office number please…
TE: They have an office in Thrissur?
Me: I am not really sure, can you please check and tell me?
TE: First you be sure and then you find out… click…
The state is in real bad shape. Dont let all this “Gods own country” propaganda fool you. The state is as akin to things godly as the Paris Hilton video is to The Sound of Music. The newspapers are filled with stories of suicides and thievery and crime. If my local newspaper had so much sex, violence and masala by jove I would make sure I was literate…
There is this new found drive in me to write short stories. Ahmedabad and IIMA is getting too routine. I think I need to make up stuff now to keep all you voracious types busy. And I have seen enough mallu movies to fuel a lot of fictional thinking. If thou art mallu definitely watch this movie called Kalyanaraman, if thou art not get a mallu to see it and explain it to you. It is so funny it will make you pee in your pants. (Which is another compelling reason to wear the lungi and watch movies…)
And finally, we have a new Chief Minister. The old one resigned yesterday. I real can’t tell you anything more. We lost power yesterday and havent been able to see a news bulletin since. The newspapers dont print non-crime anymore. But then on the bright side I didnt have to watch Trinidad and Tobago get more medals than us either.